Hello!
Its Monday *blah* but i am countin down the days to DC Caribbean Carnival!! 2 weeks and 5 days exactly!! i will try to take lots of pics since i will be a spectator this year =(. I hope i can play mas next year, but i digress *sigh*
Anyway, I have you ever waited a looooooong time for somethin and when it finally came it didnt live up to any of your expectations? No? well lemme give you an example:
Its sooo hot outside, so you decide that you are gonna go to Coldstone to get some tasty, delicious, creamy, delightful ice cream. Only, you get to the place and the line is outside the door. *boo on that* so you say...nah...its too hot to wait...so ill just head on over to Baskin Robbins which, of course, is pretty much empty. you buy your lil ice cream cone and prepare for the ice cold relief only to realize that: Damn. I should have just waited in line at Coldstone cuz this shit here is nasty...::BLOWNFACE::
This is what happened to me only my Coldstone and Baskin Robbins are men. Coldstone is that chocolate delight of a man that i think i name Chocolate Marine or somethin like that in my previous post. and Baskin Robbins is MGD (referenced in a post this time last year i believe). Ive been waitin to get my groove back and i decided that i liked this guy(chocolate marine) so i was gonna continue to wait until we decided to take our friendship to the next level. but i slipped up yesterday with MGD. and it definitely wasnt worth it. There were no sparks no sun, moon, mountains, or rivers and i didnt see heaven when we "made sweet love"*. Actually, while we were secksin** i continued to watch the movie office space. i glanced up at him a couple times and he was lookin right in my damn face! like starin at me. i had to shut my eyes or i might have rolled them right while he was lookin at me. It was pity pussy. thats exactly what it was. he had been goin on and on about how sexy i was and how he missed miss tina, and how good she was and how he has wet dreams about her. so i gave him some. but only a little bit bc i started to think about Coldstone (the man, not the ice cream) and i thought about him so hard i almost said his name. yep. had to end that right there. Cuz stuff like that just isnt ok.
Did you think the disappointment was over? oh no. it gets worse. Saturday night me and my home girl Jenjamin (no idiot thats not her real name.) went to Pleasure Place in Georgetown and i bought somethin called LoveKisses or somethin like that. Just a lil mini vibrator thing...i had said that i wouldnt use it for singular pleasure (its much better with a partner ;)) but after sundays fiasco i needed to finish the job myself. Long story short that joint was wack and i should never have doubted my trusty pocket rocket as it has never failed me before. Ill know better next time...
i guess thats what i get for not waiting...
pink.
* that was the song off the Nutty Professor Soundtrack!
** stolen courtesy of OpinionatedDiva @ http://www.divaliciousopinions.blogspot.com/
Showing posts with label wack sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wack sex. Show all posts
09 June 2008
20 June 2007
Workplace Nookie
In the spirit of my last post, I decided that i would share some other sexual experiences wit you all...I haven't decided if this would be the regular theme of my blog or not...we'll see. Anyway what was i typing? Oh yes! Another sex post. This one wasnt recent...it happened a while ago. I wanna say in like December or something.
So ive always had a fantasy about gettin it on in the workplace. Alot of people have that fantasy, but few actually go through with it. Well i did! So lemme set this up for you...the dude that it happened wit (lets call him KT) i have known for a while. and i always had the BIGGEST crush on him. So one day im at my desk and we are emailin each other back and forth and the conversation turns freaky...i cant remember exactly what was said but i was enough to get me all excited. After a while KT says that no one is in his office and that he wanted me to come over there. So im like "why you want me to come over there...what we gon do?" He comes back wit the normal..."whatever you want....we can just talk" OH HELL NO!! I dont just "talk" not wit you mister! i been wantin to get me some of your tall, brown skin, chinky eyed, long hair havin ass for a while, so theres no way im comin over to an empty ass office to talk to you. i can do that over the phone. i didnt tell him that i just said i would be on my way after my 130 boring ass meetin.
Can i say that the whole time i was at that meetin i was lookin at the clock?! I swear them corny, corporate ass white dudes was soundin like Charlie Browns teacher "Wah-Wah wah wah." I dont even think i said one thing the entire time. i was feelin like Buckwheat when he got his dollar. Just happy! I was thinkin bout him givin it to me all over somebody's desk, in the ergonomic chair, on the window sill...EVERYWHERE!! lol...finally the meeting was over...i hauled my horny ass outta there so quick! I get to his office and we make small talk for a second. but i hadda cut that shit out cuz my coochie was threatnin to jump out my Vickies and throw a major tantrum on the floor (kinda like the bad ass kid in Wal-mart) if i didnt get her some. So i walked over to him and did the first thing i thought of...i grabbed his dick. lol...now before you get all shocked, lemme just say that im not usually that aggresive...but i hadda get the party started somehow, right? Guuuuuurl (or boy, i guess) as soon as i did that his ass lit up...he snatched open my button down (he didnt break no button tho...i kinda wish he would have...that makes it more raw...lol) and was lickin me all over!! He picked me up and put me on his desk, while my legs were wrapped around him and i started to suck on his ears (guys cant resist that...well, most of them). His dick got rock hard. He musta wanted it bad cuz he stopped what he was doin and started reachin in his coat that was hangin on the back of his chair.
-Okay ladies...when the dude is gettin ready to pull out the condom, its like the moment of truth...i prefer Gold Label Men myself. When they pull those out, 9/10 its gonna be a good night. If they pull out a durex or some lame ass Health Clinic condom, you gotta deal wit 1 of 2 things...either his dick is gon be little...or the rubber will be too small...therefore risking the condom poppin which aint the least bit comfortable...so yeah, anyway-
I kinda look away, hopin that when i look back i should see the shiny gold wrapper of a Magnum.
BINGO MUTHAFUCKA!!!! So it was definitely on! I was gon make him work my ass like a 9 to 5 ya dig?! I decide ima get all sexy and bend over his desk so that he has a PRIMO view of the booty. He let out that moan of approval that guys do when they see somethin they like...it sounds like "mmh". Anyway he did that and i was wet, ready and waiting!!
He guided it in and i swear to Starbucks that shit fit like a glove!! He started the slow stroke...
in and out, in and- "Aw damn." That was him. So in my head im like, "Yeaaaaah! I know its good." but then i dont get the "out" that was supposed to follow the last "in". "Whats wrong?" Thats me. "Did it pop?" "Na," he said. "Im done." Whoa whoa WHOA! Did i hear him right? okay wait...dont freak out...this might just be the first one..ima stay cool, this just means he gone have to put in extra work in the second round.
"Okay...so get another one."
Then he kinda gets an attitude...
"I dont have another one...its not like i expect to get some at work eryday!"
*Scrrrrrreeeeeeech!!* First of all muthafucka...watch ya tone before i smack you in the mouth wit this stapler! I couldnt believe he was gettin stank wit me! Embarassed? Yeah...stank? hell no! It aint my fault you a 2 and a half stroke joke! Then i think he came to his senses cuz he apologized. I said it wasnt a big deal and i started puttin my clothes on. You see, in my mind the only thing that fucked him up is the fact that he didnt get a chance to redeem himself...sometimes the first nut shoots quick ya know? Shit happens.
Ive seen him around a couple times and i still think that hes embarassed cuz he doesnt really say anymore than hi and bye to me. But if he asked...i'd give him another chance...and if he screws that up, THEN its a problem.
But can i ask yall somethin....WHY THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME?!
So ive always had a fantasy about gettin it on in the workplace. Alot of people have that fantasy, but few actually go through with it. Well i did! So lemme set this up for you...the dude that it happened wit (lets call him KT) i have known for a while. and i always had the BIGGEST crush on him. So one day im at my desk and we are emailin each other back and forth and the conversation turns freaky...i cant remember exactly what was said but i was enough to get me all excited. After a while KT says that no one is in his office and that he wanted me to come over there. So im like "why you want me to come over there...what we gon do?" He comes back wit the normal..."whatever you want....we can just talk" OH HELL NO!! I dont just "talk" not wit you mister! i been wantin to get me some of your tall, brown skin, chinky eyed, long hair havin ass for a while, so theres no way im comin over to an empty ass office to talk to you. i can do that over the phone. i didnt tell him that i just said i would be on my way after my 130 boring ass meetin.
Can i say that the whole time i was at that meetin i was lookin at the clock?! I swear them corny, corporate ass white dudes was soundin like Charlie Browns teacher "Wah-Wah wah wah." I dont even think i said one thing the entire time. i was feelin like Buckwheat when he got his dollar. Just happy! I was thinkin bout him givin it to me all over somebody's desk, in the ergonomic chair, on the window sill...EVERYWHERE!! lol...finally the meeting was over...i hauled my horny ass outta there so quick! I get to his office and we make small talk for a second. but i hadda cut that shit out cuz my coochie was threatnin to jump out my Vickies and throw a major tantrum on the floor (kinda like the bad ass kid in Wal-mart) if i didnt get her some. So i walked over to him and did the first thing i thought of...i grabbed his dick. lol...now before you get all shocked, lemme just say that im not usually that aggresive...but i hadda get the party started somehow, right? Guuuuuurl (or boy, i guess) as soon as i did that his ass lit up...he snatched open my button down (he didnt break no button tho...i kinda wish he would have...that makes it more raw...lol) and was lickin me all over!! He picked me up and put me on his desk, while my legs were wrapped around him and i started to suck on his ears (guys cant resist that...well, most of them). His dick got rock hard. He musta wanted it bad cuz he stopped what he was doin and started reachin in his coat that was hangin on the back of his chair.
-Okay ladies...when the dude is gettin ready to pull out the condom, its like the moment of truth...i prefer Gold Label Men myself. When they pull those out, 9/10 its gonna be a good night. If they pull out a durex or some lame ass Health Clinic condom, you gotta deal wit 1 of 2 things...either his dick is gon be little...or the rubber will be too small...therefore risking the condom poppin which aint the least bit comfortable...so yeah, anyway-
I kinda look away, hopin that when i look back i should see the shiny gold wrapper of a Magnum.
BINGO MUTHAFUCKA!!!! So it was definitely on! I was gon make him work my ass like a 9 to 5 ya dig?! I decide ima get all sexy and bend over his desk so that he has a PRIMO view of the booty. He let out that moan of approval that guys do when they see somethin they like...it sounds like "mmh". Anyway he did that and i was wet, ready and waiting!!
He guided it in and i swear to Starbucks that shit fit like a glove!! He started the slow stroke...
in and out, in and- "Aw damn." That was him. So in my head im like, "Yeaaaaah! I know its good." but then i dont get the "out" that was supposed to follow the last "in". "Whats wrong?" Thats me. "Did it pop?" "Na," he said. "Im done." Whoa whoa WHOA! Did i hear him right? okay wait...dont freak out...this might just be the first one..ima stay cool, this just means he gone have to put in extra work in the second round.
"Okay...so get another one."
Then he kinda gets an attitude...
"I dont have another one...its not like i expect to get some at work eryday!"
*Scrrrrrreeeeeeech!!* First of all muthafucka...watch ya tone before i smack you in the mouth wit this stapler! I couldnt believe he was gettin stank wit me! Embarassed? Yeah...stank? hell no! It aint my fault you a 2 and a half stroke joke! Then i think he came to his senses cuz he apologized. I said it wasnt a big deal and i started puttin my clothes on. You see, in my mind the only thing that fucked him up is the fact that he didnt get a chance to redeem himself...sometimes the first nut shoots quick ya know? Shit happens.
Ive seen him around a couple times and i still think that hes embarassed cuz he doesnt really say anymore than hi and bye to me. But if he asked...i'd give him another chance...and if he screws that up, THEN its a problem.
But can i ask yall somethin....WHY THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME?!
07 June 2007
Mr. Ghana...long post yall
Okay, so i know i havent posted in a while...been busy. and its not like a have millions of people reading this anyway so to my occasional 2 readers: I love you and im sorry.
Anytahootie...
Friday (June 1) I went out on a date with this fine chocolate tall chocolate sexy chocolate man. He was born here and rasied in Ghana so he had that slight accent which i find sooo sexy. Now ive never dated an african man but i dont descriminate against sexy, okaaay? I had heard that some of them can be kinda clingy and possessive but i wasnt gonna lump him into that category so we decided to go out after work.
I drove up to Silver Spring and parked at his complex. We walked over to where city place mall is. It was such a beautiful night yall...all romantical and shit. We talked about the usual first date stuff (ya know....what kinda music, movies and extracurricular activities you like...yadda yadda yadda). Once we got downtown-
Wait wait! im forgettin stuff...first of all when i parked and got out we hugged...no compliment or nothin. NOT ONE! Not even after i told him he looked nice. But i didnt let that spoil my mood. Maybe he was nervous right? Right, thats what i thought.
Okay so back to when we got downtown. We were tryna figure out which restuarant to go to. We decided on the Rockfish Grill (i think thats what its called). The wait was long ( a lil too long cuz i was hungry as hell!) But once we were seated, service was EXCELLENT!! I ordered the Crabcakes and an amaretto sour...he had some salmon dish and a miller light. We continued to talk and flirt, i batted my eyelashes and whathaveyou...you know. He told me how "very attractive" he thought i was (which baffled me as to why i didnt get a compliment...lol) after another amaretto sour for me...we finish our delicious meal (the bill was 63 dollars which he acted like that was alot. i didnt think so. is it?) we left and began the walk back to his crib.
Now to the good part...or bad...or funny depending on how you look at it...
So we decide to watch a movie. By this time i had already decided i was gon get some cuz i was horny and i wanted it. But of course i didnt jump his bones as soon as we got inside. I maybe a fastass but i didnt wanna give him that impression right off the bat, lol. We laid on the couch and he was rubbin me all over. Not aggressively but kinda like you would rub your girlfriend or boyfriend...kinda lazy like. then he started movin up towards my breasts but he seemed nervous like he thought i was gon ask him to stop. I really think that he thought those 2 drinks had me done, lol. He started playin wit my nipples and that made my pussy almost jump out my panties! so you know im in my head like "Yeah gurl! im bout to get me some!" I continued to play a lil hard to get. so he continues on and before i know it he has unsnapped my jeans, and pushed my panties to the side (im pretty sure he did it wit one hand!) Now im really ready! Coochie region was definitely smokin hot and throbbin (ladies yall know the feelin, lol) cuz thats the player move...kinda like in that movie wit Nick Cannon and C. Milian when the dad was teachin him how to open the condom in a smooth, cool manner. lol!
He gets on wit the finger action (da bomb!!) and my stuff was so wet you could wring it out! I couldnt take it anymore and i insisted that we get to the main event. Boy was i ready!! I couldnt wait to get that chocolate mandingo you -know-what inside me (wrapped in plastic of course). He started peelin the clothes off of himself to reveal the body of an ancient god! It was smooth and muscular...and slim just how i like em! He was cut like a college basketball player and i couldnt wait to slam dunk his ass!!
THEN...he took off his pants. Ummmmmm...yeah, about that. Im pretty sure i had the look of confusion. Where is it?! Where is the big juicy chocolate stick i was sure i was gonna get? Okay dont get me wrong. It wasnt minute...it was about 7 inches but it was slim...just like the rest of him. And when your expectin Long, Strong, Donkey Kong...a ding-a-ling just doesnt cut it. But i had hope (or i was just desperate) and i wasnt gonna give up witout so much as a sample.
We missionaried...doggystyled...cowgirled...reverse cowgirled and one leg on the shouldered for about a good hour...and even though my shit was like a faucet...when you got rubber, spermicide, and a nigga wit a mediocre stroke rubbin against your woman fruit, it gets a lil dry. I was done. too through and disappointed wit the situation. He wasnt terrible but i had built up the dick in my mind and he just didnt live up to it...to cap the night off, i gave him some head cuz he was still all over me and i wasnt bout to continue fuckin him cuz i was sure my walls were scuffed. He was justa shiverin and shakin as i licked the tip (wrapped in grape plastic now) and deepthroated (it wasnt that hard to do...lol) but he still didnt cum! Alright Buddy! Im definitely done now...i wasnt gonna waste my time...it was close to 2 o clock and my pocket rockets' (a lil pink vibrator...ask about it!) bedtime was 3...had to hurry home! So he walked me to my car...kissed my cheek and watch me peel off...
Do i have to tell yall that we will not be seein each other again?
Anytahootie...
Friday (June 1) I went out on a date with this fine chocolate tall chocolate sexy chocolate man. He was born here and rasied in Ghana so he had that slight accent which i find sooo sexy. Now ive never dated an african man but i dont descriminate against sexy, okaaay? I had heard that some of them can be kinda clingy and possessive but i wasnt gonna lump him into that category so we decided to go out after work.
I drove up to Silver Spring and parked at his complex. We walked over to where city place mall is. It was such a beautiful night yall...all romantical and shit. We talked about the usual first date stuff (ya know....what kinda music, movies and extracurricular activities you like...yadda yadda yadda). Once we got downtown-
Wait wait! im forgettin stuff...first of all when i parked and got out we hugged...no compliment or nothin. NOT ONE! Not even after i told him he looked nice. But i didnt let that spoil my mood. Maybe he was nervous right? Right, thats what i thought.
Okay so back to when we got downtown. We were tryna figure out which restuarant to go to. We decided on the Rockfish Grill (i think thats what its called). The wait was long ( a lil too long cuz i was hungry as hell!) But once we were seated, service was EXCELLENT!! I ordered the Crabcakes and an amaretto sour...he had some salmon dish and a miller light. We continued to talk and flirt, i batted my eyelashes and whathaveyou...you know. He told me how "very attractive" he thought i was (which baffled me as to why i didnt get a compliment...lol) after another amaretto sour for me...we finish our delicious meal (the bill was 63 dollars which he acted like that was alot. i didnt think so. is it?) we left and began the walk back to his crib.
Now to the good part...or bad...or funny depending on how you look at it...
So we decide to watch a movie. By this time i had already decided i was gon get some cuz i was horny and i wanted it. But of course i didnt jump his bones as soon as we got inside. I maybe a fastass but i didnt wanna give him that impression right off the bat, lol. We laid on the couch and he was rubbin me all over. Not aggressively but kinda like you would rub your girlfriend or boyfriend...kinda lazy like. then he started movin up towards my breasts but he seemed nervous like he thought i was gon ask him to stop. I really think that he thought those 2 drinks had me done, lol. He started playin wit my nipples and that made my pussy almost jump out my panties! so you know im in my head like "Yeah gurl! im bout to get me some!" I continued to play a lil hard to get. so he continues on and before i know it he has unsnapped my jeans, and pushed my panties to the side (im pretty sure he did it wit one hand!) Now im really ready! Coochie region was definitely smokin hot and throbbin (ladies yall know the feelin, lol) cuz thats the player move...kinda like in that movie wit Nick Cannon and C. Milian when the dad was teachin him how to open the condom in a smooth, cool manner. lol!
He gets on wit the finger action (da bomb!!) and my stuff was so wet you could wring it out! I couldnt take it anymore and i insisted that we get to the main event. Boy was i ready!! I couldnt wait to get that chocolate mandingo you -know-what inside me (wrapped in plastic of course). He started peelin the clothes off of himself to reveal the body of an ancient god! It was smooth and muscular...and slim just how i like em! He was cut like a college basketball player and i couldnt wait to slam dunk his ass!!
THEN...he took off his pants. Ummmmmm...yeah, about that. Im pretty sure i had the look of confusion. Where is it?! Where is the big juicy chocolate stick i was sure i was gonna get? Okay dont get me wrong. It wasnt minute...it was about 7 inches but it was slim...just like the rest of him. And when your expectin Long, Strong, Donkey Kong...a ding-a-ling just doesnt cut it. But i had hope (or i was just desperate) and i wasnt gonna give up witout so much as a sample.
We missionaried...doggystyled...cowgirled...reverse cowgirled and one leg on the shouldered for about a good hour...and even though my shit was like a faucet...when you got rubber, spermicide, and a nigga wit a mediocre stroke rubbin against your woman fruit, it gets a lil dry. I was done. too through and disappointed wit the situation. He wasnt terrible but i had built up the dick in my mind and he just didnt live up to it...to cap the night off, i gave him some head cuz he was still all over me and i wasnt bout to continue fuckin him cuz i was sure my walls were scuffed. He was justa shiverin and shakin as i licked the tip (wrapped in grape plastic now) and deepthroated (it wasnt that hard to do...lol) but he still didnt cum! Alright Buddy! Im definitely done now...i wasnt gonna waste my time...it was close to 2 o clock and my pocket rockets' (a lil pink vibrator...ask about it!) bedtime was 3...had to hurry home! So he walked me to my car...kissed my cheek and watch me peel off...
Do i have to tell yall that we will not be seein each other again?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
