Ok so here goes (I'll try to make it quick since im sleepy and I hve shit to do.)
Friday: I had to work at my PT job but after I got off I went home, showered and headed to the Penthouse. Yes, I was in the strip club again. lol...no I'm not a regular, It was Candy Dandy's Bday!! As soon as I got there, I got apprehended by some fugly dude in an AT&T cardigan. he was missing teeth...and his breath stank. I spotted Candy in her bday tiara and i went over and gave her a hug and my bday present to her: $5. What?!?! Man, five dollarsll get you a gallon of gas and since she dont drive that extra monies in her pocket!! lol...plus ise ballin on a strict budget. ANyway i sit down and wait for her girlfriend to get there. 15 minutes after sittin down, these two guys start talkin to me. One was too busted and the other one was just a tad ugly. but the extremely busted ones be the boldest so he asks me:
Busted: You work here?
me: ummm...no.
busted: what you doin here?
me: that girl right there is my homegirl and its her bday...you should give her some monies.
busted: (gets up and tips candy and comes back) so what do you do?
i explain what i do and then he proceeds to ask me what my goals are. What?! Are you really gonna try and wife me while you have a half nekkid woman poppin her coochie To "Drop and Gimme Fifty" in your face?! no. you are not. So i conveniently turn the conversation to sports. We have a 45 minute comversation about how the Cowboys are better than the redskins. He asks me if i want another drink, being that my Malibu and Coke was 8.75, you know i went ahead and let him get me another joint. I guess he thought that that got him in there like swimwear cuz then he's like:
busted: you married?
me: no.
busted: you talkin to somebody?
me: no.
*silence...i guess i wasnt givin him the go ahead to ask for my number*
Me: *blank stare for like 30 seconds lol*
Him: *stuttering* ummm...so would you be trying to get to know someone?
me: no.
Then Candy walked over and said her Girfriend was there. I politely grabbed my purse, thanked him for the drink and was on my merry way. Once i got over to Cass (candys gf) the fuckery began. In the course of like 2 hours I saw a bored stripped half ass grindin her cooch on some dude for a dollar, Candy cursed someone out for touchin her ass (tooooo funny!) and another stripper threw a dollar at a dude cuz he was dancin so hard he looked like the rent was due yesterday...now THAT had me dyin laughin!! On the way out Candy cursed out on of the bouncers...she was WASTED honey, okaaay?! I headed home at about 3 am cuz i was tired and I had to open my store at 10 am.
Saturday:
Holy Tartar sauce...was the mall full of hot messes or what?! ANTM had auditions at Pentagon City and lord jesus...smh. Nothin eventful really happened but right before i was about to walk out some extra ghetto south east DC broad and her clan come strollin up in our store raisin hell about some damn return. IDK honey bc i didnt even finish the transaction. I politely clocked out and let my store manager handle that cuz we do have box cutters and i will slice a bitch. I couldnt deal with it. I left and on the way out some old ass Spanish man is askin me what song I am listenin to ( i was blastin Three 6 Mafia's This Bitch That Hoe...why is that his favorite song?!) so i tell him and he keeps on talkin bout how he always hears it on the radio or somethin (no. you dont old man) and then next thing i know some homeless man is right next to my window tellin me that the spanish dude is crazy and not to listen to him....by the way could i spare any change? Man i laughed so hard that when the light turned green I almost ran over his lil dirty toes!! Anyway, I went and got my hair done and waited for Cass to call about the plans for the club that night...but somehow we missed each others calls and I ended up at Bostons again with Brandiiwine where we had some drinks and sexually harrassed our barely legal server. That was fun. We went to her house and fell asleep.
Sunday:
Lazy day. The only remotely interesting thing that happened was some gangbangin lookin vietnamese nail technician grabbed my hand and told me I needed a fill. He needed a manicure bc after he let my hand go i felt like he peeled a layer of my skin off. That waws about it. Oh yeah...and somethin caught on fire behind my building. Thats all.
How was yalls weekend?
pink.
Showing posts with label strip club. Show all posts
Showing posts with label strip club. Show all posts
14 July 2008
07 July 2008
Loooong weekend wrap-up
I say good monday mornin to ya!
i had a pretty good weekend! I was off and i just relaxed and did my version of partyin...bc im not really a partier per se.
Lets start with Friday:
I had to get my effin tire fixed. well i had to spend 194 dollars to get new tires!! Double fuck shit on that. I also need a front end alignment, but kisha (my car) will be quite alright with out one ya dig?! Anyway, Me and Brandywiine watched the fireworks (which we didnt think were gonna happen bc of the rain) And then i had a movie date (this is where the good part starts). I didnt make it to island breezes house in time for the movie so we were riding around trying to decide what we were gonna do at midnight on a friday. So me being the brilliant and adventurous chick that i am, suggest that we hit the Penthouse. I think that he didnt think that i was serious cuz he starts hemmin and hawin about wether we should go and im like, "well are you scared?!" and of course in the way to defend his manhood hes all like" hell na i aint scared!" So we go. And im excited bc my homegirl Innocence was dancin that night and i havent seen her in a while. We get our drinks and sit down and I point out Innocence to him and hes like oh shes sexy or whatever...to which i laugh on the inside cuz she dont want him, honey! She licks. she doesnt like the stick....if you get my drift (aww shucks that rhymed!!) But anyway were watchin the other girls and some can dance, some cant. Most of the girls are pretty. He decides he wants to pick a top three and so i participate bc it was a fun lil game to play. when Innocence gets a break she comes and sits down next to us and the men are lookin like why she sittin next to them?! Im thinkin to myself...HELLO!?!? Strippers have regulars lives outside the club and ive known this gurl since middle school! We chopped it up for a minute and then she goes to dance on the next stage. She calls me over there and drops it likes it hot and next thing i know i see that she has that extra sensitive piece of skin down there pierced (not the clit...the taint or somethin like that) And then i look at her and shes beamin like she just handin me a boucin bundle of joy!! that chick is crazy...lol! After that we said our goodbyes, and me and island breeze dipped out. We were greeted at my car by some crack head shouting, "G-g-g-g-g-G Unit!" [SERIOUS FACE] i am not jokin. We got to his house and did bad stuff and thats all i have to say about that lmao!
Saturday:
Would you believe that i left my dang blasted wallet over his house?! So i had to get up at like 10 am (i didnt get in the house til like 430) and drive from fort washington alll the way back to hyattsville. [BLOWN.FACE] I came back home and went to sleep. i slept until about 5 pm. i was THAT tired. I got up and went to my dads house. Some random lady that i guess is my dads first cousin was there. i dont think i like her. Neither does my stepmom. i think its one of those long lost cousin who comes back to the family and automatically needs money. case and point: shes already asked for 600 dollars...shes only been there 4 days.
After i left there, i was headed to waldorf to pick up miss brandywiine to go get tipsy at the local bar. AS of thursday the plan was for her me and my cousin to get all sexified get some drinks and go see Innocence...but my cousin flaked out and since i had just went on Friday, there was no need to go again. I think i may go on Saturday tho...but not with Island Breeze. ill let some fat guy buy my drinks and give me money to tip the girls...lol. anyway...i pull up at this light and thses guys are like:
them: where you goin?
me: wheere you goin?!
them: we goin to a cookout!
me: well im goin to the bar.
them: na! come to the cookout wit us...we got liquor there!
me: hell no! ion know yall!
them: gurl! act your age and not your bra size!
then i pull off cuz the light is red. ummm just to let you all know...i wear a 36 D. exactly. lol. I pull up and Brandiiwines and of course this slut is not ready...so i wait for her. We finally leave and get to Bostons. I order a Mojito and an appetizer...she orders a Pineapple Upside Down and we start our usual inappropriate conversation which consists of Boys, sex, how we hate our jobs and sex and freaky talk and text. (seriously, thats usually what we talk about lmao!) I finish my Mojito and we both order another. but this time they were nasty. so we call the manager over and do you know what this twat says?! He cannot take it off of our check! I was LIVID! Im gonna call about that. Dave W. was the managers name. i should get him fired. Anyway...i drop Brandiiwine off and then i head over to MGD (i gotta get a new name for him bc he is NOT Mr. Good Dick anymore) house where i proceed to fall asleep on him bc he thought he was gettin some sex...HA! lol
Sunday:
I get to my house around 830 am and lay around the house for the remainder of the day. I even went to the grocery store in pajama pants. Thats about it. lol.
exhausted...but happy!
pink.
i had a pretty good weekend! I was off and i just relaxed and did my version of partyin...bc im not really a partier per se.
Lets start with Friday:
I had to get my effin tire fixed. well i had to spend 194 dollars to get new tires!! Double fuck shit on that. I also need a front end alignment, but kisha (my car) will be quite alright with out one ya dig?! Anyway, Me and Brandywiine watched the fireworks (which we didnt think were gonna happen bc of the rain) And then i had a movie date (this is where the good part starts). I didnt make it to island breezes house in time for the movie so we were riding around trying to decide what we were gonna do at midnight on a friday. So me being the brilliant and adventurous chick that i am, suggest that we hit the Penthouse. I think that he didnt think that i was serious cuz he starts hemmin and hawin about wether we should go and im like, "well are you scared?!" and of course in the way to defend his manhood hes all like" hell na i aint scared!" So we go. And im excited bc my homegirl Innocence was dancin that night and i havent seen her in a while. We get our drinks and sit down and I point out Innocence to him and hes like oh shes sexy or whatever...to which i laugh on the inside cuz she dont want him, honey! She licks. she doesnt like the stick....if you get my drift (aww shucks that rhymed!!) But anyway were watchin the other girls and some can dance, some cant. Most of the girls are pretty. He decides he wants to pick a top three and so i participate bc it was a fun lil game to play. when Innocence gets a break she comes and sits down next to us and the men are lookin like why she sittin next to them?! Im thinkin to myself...HELLO!?!? Strippers have regulars lives outside the club and ive known this gurl since middle school! We chopped it up for a minute and then she goes to dance on the next stage. She calls me over there and drops it likes it hot and next thing i know i see that she has that extra sensitive piece of skin down there pierced (not the clit...the taint or somethin like that) And then i look at her and shes beamin like she just handin me a boucin bundle of joy!! that chick is crazy...lol! After that we said our goodbyes, and me and island breeze dipped out. We were greeted at my car by some crack head shouting, "G-g-g-g-g-G Unit!" [SERIOUS FACE] i am not jokin. We got to his house and did bad stuff and thats all i have to say about that lmao!
Saturday:
Would you believe that i left my dang blasted wallet over his house?! So i had to get up at like 10 am (i didnt get in the house til like 430) and drive from fort washington alll the way back to hyattsville. [BLOWN.FACE] I came back home and went to sleep. i slept until about 5 pm. i was THAT tired. I got up and went to my dads house. Some random lady that i guess is my dads first cousin was there. i dont think i like her. Neither does my stepmom. i think its one of those long lost cousin who comes back to the family and automatically needs money. case and point: shes already asked for 600 dollars...shes only been there 4 days.
After i left there, i was headed to waldorf to pick up miss brandywiine to go get tipsy at the local bar. AS of thursday the plan was for her me and my cousin to get all sexified get some drinks and go see Innocence...but my cousin flaked out and since i had just went on Friday, there was no need to go again. I think i may go on Saturday tho...but not with Island Breeze. ill let some fat guy buy my drinks and give me money to tip the girls...lol. anyway...i pull up at this light and thses guys are like:
them: where you goin?
me: wheere you goin?!
them: we goin to a cookout!
me: well im goin to the bar.
them: na! come to the cookout wit us...we got liquor there!
me: hell no! ion know yall!
them: gurl! act your age and not your bra size!
then i pull off cuz the light is red. ummm just to let you all know...i wear a 36 D. exactly. lol. I pull up and Brandiiwines and of course this slut is not ready...so i wait for her. We finally leave and get to Bostons. I order a Mojito and an appetizer...she orders a Pineapple Upside Down and we start our usual inappropriate conversation which consists of Boys, sex, how we hate our jobs and sex and freaky talk and text. (seriously, thats usually what we talk about lmao!) I finish my Mojito and we both order another. but this time they were nasty. so we call the manager over and do you know what this twat says?! He cannot take it off of our check! I was LIVID! Im gonna call about that. Dave W. was the managers name. i should get him fired. Anyway...i drop Brandiiwine off and then i head over to MGD (i gotta get a new name for him bc he is NOT Mr. Good Dick anymore) house where i proceed to fall asleep on him bc he thought he was gettin some sex...HA! lol
Sunday:
I get to my house around 830 am and lay around the house for the remainder of the day. I even went to the grocery store in pajama pants. Thats about it. lol.
exhausted...but happy!
pink.
22 June 2007
Im in luv wit a stripper
mmmmhm mmmmhm mmmmhm yall!
I went to the Classics last night...woooooooo weeee! Them boys was sexxy! This was my first time at a strip club. Me and my coworker went. I used to think that i wouldnt enjoy male strippers. Somethin about them turned me off. Im not sure it was the way they gyrated in the womens faces on tv or what...but i had sworn off ever goin to a male strip club.
Baby! If i woulda knew what i was missin, I woulda been up in there a looooooong time ago! lol. Now there are four men in there that had my ass makin it rain on they asses...
Foreplay- He was walkin around the club about an hour before the show fully dressed. He was maybe 5" 11', Chocolate, with a short cut and precise facial hair and he looks maybe about 27. When he came on stage, he had on a suit and his set was like a old skool joint...he was smooth...not raunchy at all (which was kind of a disappointment, lol) he danced around and finally came outta all his clothes...he has an ass that you'd like to smack...lol.
Playboy- Oooh child! This boy lived up to his name! He is light skinned (which i dont usually go for..but *sighs and stares dreamily* theres just somethin about him) curly hair and a body that should never be covered! When he came out, he started walkin towards me...Gurl! i put that dollar between my teeth and you woulda thought i was a nasty ass 50 yr old woman the way i sorta kinda molested his sexy ass! When he walked over to me, i put my hands on his babyoiled chest and squatted lettin my fingers trail over his red leather pants (they werent tight cuz that woulda been corny) and fall right on his dick. My face was right at penis level and i gave it a good squeeze wit my right hand and stuck the dollar in the waistband of his pants and grabbed a handful of juicy ass in my left. He continued on his way....sexxxy ass!
Devine- Have you seen the dick on him?! BIG. Thats all im gonna say bout that. He was the only one that took off er'thing...although you couldnt see anything cuz he wrapped a towel around his waist...but its just the idea that i could actually walk over to him and snatch it off!! I dreamed about him last night lol...now he wasnt all that fine...he is light too but he has dreads...oh how i live to run my fingers through a mans head wit nice dreads!! I threw some ones at him too. Once, he got finished wit his set he got dressed and came back out. When he walked past me and grabbed me by my waist. "Did you enjoy my set baby?" *panties wet* "Mmmmhm! you sexy as shit!" He said thank you and smiled at me...i cheesed right back at his ass. He continued to mingle wit the other ladies. When he came back through, I was dancin and shakin my ass to the music that was bumpin through the speakers. He grabbed my ass and squeezed it "Gurl! I would fuck the shit outta yo lil sexy ass!" i looked him dead in his face and replied "i fuck back." and i was serious, lol.
I dont know what got into me! Somethin about bein in there had me charged up wit this raw energy. There were other dancers. But those were the ones that were blogworthy..at least in my opinion anyway. When the night was over, me and my coworker started to walk out the door and who stood before me?
I went to the Classics last night...woooooooo weeee! Them boys was sexxy! This was my first time at a strip club. Me and my coworker went. I used to think that i wouldnt enjoy male strippers. Somethin about them turned me off. Im not sure it was the way they gyrated in the womens faces on tv or what...but i had sworn off ever goin to a male strip club.
Baby! If i woulda knew what i was missin, I woulda been up in there a looooooong time ago! lol. Now there are four men in there that had my ass makin it rain on they asses...
Foreplay- He was walkin around the club about an hour before the show fully dressed. He was maybe 5" 11', Chocolate, with a short cut and precise facial hair and he looks maybe about 27. When he came on stage, he had on a suit and his set was like a old skool joint...he was smooth...not raunchy at all (which was kind of a disappointment, lol) he danced around and finally came outta all his clothes...he has an ass that you'd like to smack...lol.
Playboy- Oooh child! This boy lived up to his name! He is light skinned (which i dont usually go for..but *sighs and stares dreamily* theres just somethin about him) curly hair and a body that should never be covered! When he came out, he started walkin towards me...Gurl! i put that dollar between my teeth and you woulda thought i was a nasty ass 50 yr old woman the way i sorta kinda molested his sexy ass! When he walked over to me, i put my hands on his babyoiled chest and squatted lettin my fingers trail over his red leather pants (they werent tight cuz that woulda been corny) and fall right on his dick. My face was right at penis level and i gave it a good squeeze wit my right hand and stuck the dollar in the waistband of his pants and grabbed a handful of juicy ass in my left. He continued on his way....sexxxy ass!
Devine- Have you seen the dick on him?! BIG. Thats all im gonna say bout that. He was the only one that took off er'thing...although you couldnt see anything cuz he wrapped a towel around his waist...but its just the idea that i could actually walk over to him and snatch it off!! I dreamed about him last night lol...now he wasnt all that fine...he is light too but he has dreads...oh how i live to run my fingers through a mans head wit nice dreads!! I threw some ones at him too. Once, he got finished wit his set he got dressed and came back out. When he walked past me and grabbed me by my waist. "Did you enjoy my set baby?" *panties wet* "Mmmmhm! you sexy as shit!" He said thank you and smiled at me...i cheesed right back at his ass. He continued to mingle wit the other ladies. When he came back through, I was dancin and shakin my ass to the music that was bumpin through the speakers. He grabbed my ass and squeezed it "Gurl! I would fuck the shit outta yo lil sexy ass!" i looked him dead in his face and replied "i fuck back." and i was serious, lol.
I dont know what got into me! Somethin about bein in there had me charged up wit this raw energy. There were other dancers. But those were the ones that were blogworthy..at least in my opinion anyway. When the night was over, me and my coworker started to walk out the door and who stood before me?
Perfect Gentleman
Ladies...when i say this man is beautiful...i mean it. He's like 6'2", smooth chocolate skin, long locs, and that body! He had on jeans and a t-shirt but you could tell what was under there. I asked him his name he told me it was Perfect Gentleman, and then he handed me a Flyer titled Sexy First Sundays. Before i could look at the whole flyer he grabbed my waist, pulled me close and whispered in my ear "Make sure you come...it's a butt-naked affair." Mmmmhm! I inhaled his Jean Paul Gaultier cologne (my fave!) and tried to control myself. He kissed my cheek and i kissed his back...i wanted to squeeze his butt but i didnt...i'll save that for next sunday, lol.
I made it home and right before i got outta my car i took one long look at his ass on my flyer and stuck it in the dashboard display of my car....WHAT?! i need somethin nice to look at when im stuck in traffic!
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