Weekend Wrap-Up

Ok so here goes (I'll try to make it quick since im sleepy and I hve shit to do.)

Friday: I had to work at my PT job but after I got off I went home, showered and headed to the Penthouse. Yes, I was in the strip club again. lol...no I'm not a regular, It was Candy Dandy's Bday!! As soon as I got there, I got apprehended by some fugly dude in an AT&T cardigan. he was missing teeth...and his breath stank. I spotted Candy in her bday tiara and i went over and gave her a hug and my bday present to her: $5. What?!?! Man, five dollarsll get you a gallon of gas and since she dont drive that extra monies in her pocket!! lol...plus ise ballin on a strict budget. ANyway i sit down and wait for her girlfriend to get there. 15 minutes after sittin down, these two guys start talkin to me. One was too busted and the other one was just a tad ugly. but the extremely busted ones be the boldest so he asks me:

Busted: You work here?
me: ummm...no.
busted: what you doin here?
me: that girl right there is my homegirl and its her bday...you should give her some monies.
busted: (gets up and tips candy and comes back) so what do you do?

i explain what i do and then he proceeds to ask me what my goals are. What?! Are you really gonna try and wife me while you have a half nekkid woman poppin her coochie To "Drop and Gimme Fifty" in your face?! no. you are not. So i conveniently turn the conversation to sports. We have a 45 minute comversation about how the Cowboys are better than the redskins. He asks me if i want another drink, being that my Malibu and Coke was 8.75, you know i went ahead and let him get me another joint. I guess he thought that that got him in there like swimwear cuz then he's like:

busted: you married?
me: no.
busted: you talkin to somebody?
me: no.
*silence...i guess i wasnt givin him the go ahead to ask for my number*
Me: *blank stare for like 30 seconds lol*
Him: *stuttering* ummm...so would you be trying to get to know someone?
me: no.

Then Candy walked over and said her Girfriend was there. I politely grabbed my purse, thanked him for the drink and was on my merry way. Once i got over to Cass (candys gf) the fuckery began. In the course of like 2 hours I saw a bored stripped half ass grindin her cooch on some dude for a dollar, Candy cursed someone out for touchin her ass (tooooo funny!) and another stripper threw a dollar at a dude cuz he was dancin so hard he looked like the rent was due yesterday...now THAT had me dyin laughin!! On the way out Candy cursed out on of the bouncers...she was WASTED honey, okaaay?! I headed home at about 3 am cuz i was tired and I had to open my store at 10 am.

Saturday:

Holy Tartar sauce...was the mall full of hot messes or what?! ANTM had auditions at Pentagon City and lord jesus...smh. Nothin eventful really happened but right before i was about to walk out some extra ghetto south east DC broad and her clan come strollin up in our store raisin hell about some damn return. IDK honey bc i didnt even finish the transaction. I politely clocked out and let my store manager handle that cuz we do have box cutters and i will slice a bitch. I couldnt deal with it. I left and on the way out some old ass Spanish man is askin me what song I am listenin to ( i was blastin Three 6 Mafia's This Bitch That Hoe...why is that his favorite song?!) so i tell him and he keeps on talkin bout how he always hears it on the radio or somethin (no. you dont old man) and then next thing i know some homeless man is right next to my window tellin me that the spanish dude is crazy and not to listen to him....by the way could i spare any change? Man i laughed so hard that when the light turned green I almost ran over his lil dirty toes!! Anyway, I went and got my hair done and waited for Cass to call about the plans for the club that night...but somehow we missed each others calls and I ended up at Bostons again with Brandiiwine where we had some drinks and sexually harrassed our barely legal server. That was fun. We went to her house and fell asleep.

Sunday:

Lazy day. The only remotely interesting thing that happened was some gangbangin lookin vietnamese nail technician grabbed my hand and told me I needed a fill. He needed a manicure bc after he let my hand go i felt like he peeled a layer of my skin off. That waws about it. Oh yeah...and somethin caught on fire behind my building. Thats all.

How was yalls weekend?

pink.