29 August 2008

Friday Randomness

Excuse me while I cabbage patch *elevator music plays softly in the background*....ok im back and with GRRRRRREAT news!! My numbers are normal!! I just got my results yesterday and my HcG level is at 2.4...anywhere between 0 and 5 is good. I have ONE MORE treatment and then im done, ya dig?!

hmmmm.....what else? Let's see. *thinkin thinkin*

Fuck it. I cant think of anything. I'll prolly be back tho because...

"It's Friday, you aint got no job, and yeen got shit to do!"

Name this movie:

Yeah, thats right. Brush that weak ass fade. Nigga dick cant stay hard 5 minutes...what the fuck you do? Take steroids?!



28 August 2008

I dont like it...not one bit!

Yall know what bothers me sometimes? Its a relatively small thing, i guess. But it irks me just the same...I HATE when old white men wear thin ass button up shirts and have the NERVE not to wear a wife beater or t-shirt underneath. You know yo mama taught you better than that! I was walkin down the hall at work yesterday and this old white Steve Martin lookin boi turns the corner and all i see is flabbly skin and hairy nipples. It was so nasty i wanted to punch MYSELF in the face. And the thing is, is that i KNOW he knows better. And if he doesnt then his wife aint doin her damn job bc i'd kick my husbands ass twice if he even thought about walkin out the house like that.

The other thing i cant stand is when men (or women cuz it happens to them too)sweat through their shirts. I mean, i know that its over active sweat glands but damn! I know the doctor can prescribe somethin to keep that in check!

Oh! and another thing. If you sit in a small office please dont bring the plate that your Antie LooLoo made you from the fish fry on Sunday for lunch. After you warm it up, that shit STANKS. And then when i go to warm up my poppy seed muffin 20 minutes later, it tastes like Catfish and hot sauce. You better hope im not that hungry cuz i WILL punch you in the back of your head.

Let's see....what else? Cuz im havin fun, lol. Or maybe I'll leave it up to yall...this might be a regular thing if yall act right! Tell 'Em Why You Mad Thursdays!! I want Anger! Pissedoffedness! Hilarity! Shit I really just want some entertainment bc im bored as hell...

Annnnnnd action!


27 August 2008

Why Can't There Be A Happy Medium?!

Hello Lovelies! It's Wednesday!! We have two more days to go before the holiday weekend. I love holiday weekends by the way! I even have a calender in my cubicle of all of the up coming holidays, lol. Do yall realize that we havent had a 3 day weekend since the beginning of July?! Im definitely tryna do this one up.

Anyway, todays post is about the random men in my life. These men are so crazy. i know that you are prolly thinkin that if i have a bunch (mmmmm...somewhere around 7 or 8) of men tryna talk to me then why dont i have a damned boyfriend? Well, bc they are crazy i tell you! They fit into like 3 categories: The ones who wanna wife me...tomorrow, the ones who dont know what they want, and the ones who are grown assed men but have no intention on really settling down anytime soon but still wanna talk to me when they know i'm not for that "playin second to another chick" shit (that last one was long lol, but accurate).

The ones who wanna wife me...tomorrow: These are the ones who really blow me. I mean they have all the qualities that i would like in a husband but they want to do shit like move in together, make babies, and have joint bank accounts and shit. And they want it NOW! One dude hung up on me yesterday bc he said that after he told me how he felt about me, i havent made a decision or i havent said anything about the way i feel. Well, maybe thats bc i dont feel a special way right now. We havent been anywhere or spent any time together other than me stoppin by his house and sittin on the steps with him for a couple hours. DUDE! you havent put in any work!! Plus, he always wants me to come see him....he's never been to my house...NOT ONCE! Besides, hangin up on me just got you a one way ticket to lose-my-fuckin-number-ville...i dont play that shit. There is another guy that i met on new years and we talked for like 2 months....everything was perfect. I mean almost too good to be true. And thats exactly how i started feelin. i just felt like somethin wasnt right. After the first week he was tryna get me to meet his daughter, which i was not comfortable wit bc i dont think that its a good idea to introduce children to random people in your life. Then he started askin me if i had thought about movin in with him...WHAT?! At that point i just cut him off. he called me EVERYDAY, more than several times a day, then he started leavin weird creepy messages, so i just never answered another one of his calls again.

The ones who dont know what they want: These are the ones that are all over you one minute and then get missin for like 4 days out of no where. Now ill admit, that when i like someone i like them alot. but once you piss me off one too many times, i get bored with them and its damn near impossible to get me to feel the way i did in the beginning...Island Breeze fell into this category a long time ago. Check my blog...he hasnt been mentioned in a while lol. He's just too wishy washy for me. I dont even really remember when he stopped mattering to me, prolly when he told me that i was girlfriend material and that he wanted to be with me...but he didnt wanna make it officail until October...yea ok...bc i'm really gonna wait [ S A R C A S T I C F A C E ]

The ones who are grown assed men but have no intention on really settling down anytime soon but still wanna talk to me when they know i'm not for that "playin second to another chick" shit: Omigod i hate them. and they prolly hate me too. You know why? Bc I wont give up the panty drawz. That's all they want. None of these fools in the category that i have listed get the panty drawz but this group definitely does not stand a chance. Im not interested in the wham-bam-thank-you-mam or the fuck'n'chuck thing. and if i was it would be on MY terms. These are the ones that are cool to chill wit but its guaranteed that they are gonna try and get-in-them-drawz-and-tear-dat-ass-up at some point during the hangout. they have random girls callin all the time with ringtones like lollipop by weezy or i was gettin some head by shauna

-(lmao...one time along time ago me and this dude where gettin it in and his phone rang with that Shauna ringtone and thats not what made me mad bc we had an FWB arrangement. What pissed me off was that he tried to tell me it was his mom...yea, bc im really gonna believe that =/)-

but dont understand why my goods are on CLANK CLANK! lockdown. I dont do second place honey, its either just me or not me at all...you WILL NOT straddle the fence, sorry =/

They drives me crazy i tell youz.


26 August 2008

Guess Who's Bizzack?!

It's me snitchezzzz!! Well actually i was back yesterday but with all the emails that were in my damned mailbox, i didnt get a chance to blog.

I had a GREAT, OFF THE CHAIN, FANTABULOUS weekend in Vegas!!!! My mom and her best friend went and so did my grandmother and her cousin. My coworker/friend came with me. But *sigh* there was no inappropriate behavior. I did however get drunk for the 2nd time in my life!! Ow! That was Friday night. Me and Sunshine got dressed (ill have to post that pic once my mom sends it to me cuz i was lookin too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts honey!) and headed across the street to the Palazzo hotel (which is beatiful) to get to the 40/40 club. It was kinda small but very swanky. I liked it. The music was poppin and the bartender was cute. I ended up havin 1 Long Island and 4 Malibu and Cokes...Sunshine had 1 Long Beach. THAT.WAS.IT. No I don;t do the peer pressure thing but she's really standoffish (low self esteem/lacks confidence...but thats another post for another day) and so im just thinkin that maybe another drink or 4 would have loosend her up...am i wrong for thinkin that?! So anyway, she sat in the corner by the bar the whole night while I danced until they turned the lights on and where sweepin the floor!! I wanna tell yall what I wore but i think I may just make you wait for the pics ;)

Oh Oh!! In my drunken stupor I managed to almost fight a crackhead. Yes, honey. Now he was the only crackhead on the strip and he was workin double time bc earlier that day we saw him harrassin some innocent white folk. He was wearin his pink Easter suit. Then when the club let out, we saw him in some jean shorts and no shirt harrassin two cutie pie white boys for their beer. So my dumb ass walks up to them and im like:

me: Clyde! If you dont get your ass from in front of Ceasers Palace ackin a damned fool!! And where the hell is your shirt?! I dun told you bout this shit!! *to the white boys* yall excuse him..he dont know no betta. *back to crakhead* Clyde! Get yo ass back where you belong!

I grab the arm of the cutest white boy and start walkin away.

Clyde the crackhead: What?! Oh so you like white boys? You just gon walk away wit them honkys girl?! You know they used to lynch us!

By now, Sunshines eyes are buggin outta her head and shes gettin all nervous tombout:

Sir, Im sorry! Just please. Ohmigod!

Clyde the crackhead: Bitch shutup!!

Cute white boy on my arm: Hey! You dont fuckin talk to a lady like that!! What the hells wrong wit you?!

We walk away from Clyde and start headin toward our hotel. I find out that ol boy is from Birmingham and he's a nurse and he likes black girls...lmao!! I also found out it was his birthday so I gave him a nice juicy kiss on the cheek and posed in a picture with him. He was so excited lol. Sunshine said his dick got hard. lmao!!!! They walked us to our room and that was that bc Sunshine wasnt havin no company in the room. Whatever, I was tired anyway.

There was nothin else that really happened. I did notice however, that there were alot of couples. ALOT. and there werent alot of black people. But i loooooved the weather. I wondered if i could live there...but by the time my plane was flyin over the Pentagon and the monument I was glad to be home. Nothin like good ol DC.

Im exhausted honey.


20 August 2008

Out of Office!!

Hey Guys....I'm gone to VEGAS BABY!!! Try not to miss me too much while im gone. I'll be back Monday with a recap and pix unless my weekend is TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE...which im hoping it will be ;)



The RE-Education...

Hey Hey Heeey!!!! It's almost Fridaaaaay! Ok. Im done rhyming...but good morning. I am tired but very excited about my vacay!! Anyway...this here post is something that I have been thinkin about for a while but i rarely share with anyone bc...well, just bc ok? Really there isnt a reason why, its just one of the few things i voice my opinion on. I have very specific feelings about how a relationship should be between a man and woman. Now I'm not talking about a lil rinky dink relationship. I'm talkin about marriage, or a relationship with the potential of marriage. I feel like the man should be the leader and the head of the household. Regardless of how much money he makes or whatever. Now, im not the least bit submissive, AT ALL lol. but I dont believe that I have to be to let my man take care of the things that a man should. Now I do believe that if he isnt taking care of his business as a man, then as the wife, fiance, whatever it is my job to take over...but only then. I dont know if i'm sounding right. and maybe this is why i dont express my views on this topic alot. I just know what i think. The man that i hopefully end up with one day would be a king and think of himself as such. I need someone thats strong and doesnt buckle at the sign of pressure from work or life in general. Someone that has dreams and makes me want to believe in him. Someone for my sons to want to be like. But a man who also understands that while i am here to support his endeavors that i am in no way his shadow and i have goals and dreams of my own that he should support as well. Damn, you know who i just described? Barack and Michelle. Now thats the kind of relationship i want. I would say that The Obama's should be the first family even if it were only to show the black community what a black family is. Obviously not every black man is gonna be a presidential nominee...but for some reason i just get the feeling that even if Barack were a janitor Michelle would be there holding him down. And if they aint really like that then they do a damn good job of frontin.

Anyway, i know yall wonderin why im gettin all Oprah on yall and shit. I was talkin to a co-worker and friend of mine, Dante Moore. His book, (yall like how im friends with Authors and shit hunh? Yeah, i know lol) The Re-Education of the Female just came out last month and I read it bc I'm always trying to get to know what men like and what goes on in that teeny weeny tiny brain of theirs lol. Dante says alot of things in his book that may piss some women off, but that i understand. This book isnt a step by step guide to how to get a man its just his thoughts about what women are doing wrong. He's very straight-foward...kinda like he's talkin to his boys...so it gets kinda harsh, but it is what it is. We want the truth but we are asking the wrong person. Which is something he discusses...

-Wait a minute...i dont even know why the hell I'm givin his ass all this damn exposure when he didnt even blog like i asked him too!! I reach millions...MILLIONS with my blog each day (ok...maybe im exaggerating) but he cant even give us somethin other than the stale crap he blogged about back in '78?! Oh yeah...check him out here-

But yeah, he discusses a wide range of topics in his book from why he thinks men cheat, to the break down of the black family, sex and even religion. It's a book that i think all black women who are interested in learning how men think should read as well as men...i wanna know if Dante is right in his assumptions lmao!

Sorry if i got all deep on yall...this just goes to show im not as retarded as you think ;)


19 August 2008

Tuesday's Thoughts

Hello and Good Morning!

Ummm...i have 2 days before I'm sipping alcoholic beverages poolside in Vegas. Just thought I'd share that.

Anyway, my mom wants to read my blog. We're in the car last night and shes all, "Can i read your blog? How can I see your blog?" My response? "Negative." And i meant it. NO! She can not read my damned blog. You dont understand, its not even that I'm scared for her to read it because i'm a grown assed woman and i live by my damned self. but my mom likes to analyze things...over...and Over....and OVER again. Once i blog about something im usually done talking about it. She'll want to rehash everything i wrote about. Or she'll be like, "Why did you say that on the internet?!" I dont have the time or enough tylenol to deal with that. No. she cant read it.

OMG. Yesterday i was at work and this white guy and two black guys come in trying to sell me their craptastic assed CD and I'm like, "Na, I'm good." So the white guy is trying to reason with me about why I should buy their CD and one of the other guy interrupts and says something that I can't remember next thing i know i hear the white guy shout, "SHUT THE FUCK UP WHEN I'M FUCKIN TALKIN!!"....ummmm [ B L A N K S T A R E ] Are you fuckin kidding me?! I'ma tell yall like this here:

I'LL BE GOTDAMNED. (there are no exclamation points bc i want yall to know how serious i am)

I'm sorry but you aint just gon scream on me like that and think you aint finna (yes, i know i said finna) get punched in yo damned mouth. It couldnt be anybody, much less a white person. Dawg...ion even think i would let my MAMA scream on me like that in public. Is you crazy?! See i get real ingnorant if somebody tries to play me in public. Cuz i just feel like as high as gas is...all i got out here is my dignity. and i REFUSED to get sonned...by ANYONE. And get this....dude aint even say nothin. NOTHIN. Couldntna been me. Imjussayin =/

You ever call T-mobile or Bank of America or somethin and get that automated voice? Of course you have. I hate her. I'm callin my bank yesterday to transfer some funds and this is how the conversation went:

Her: Hi. I'd like to help you carry out your transaction...what would you like to do today?
Me: Transfer funds.
Her: Im Sorry, please repeat that?
Me: (kinda loud) TRANFER FUNDS.
Her: OK. I can help you with that. Please say your account number.
Me: xxxxxxxxxx
Her: was that xxxxxxxxx?
Me: NO!
Her: Ok. Please enter you social security number.
Me: xxxxxxxxx
Her: I see youve done a tranfer from this phone before. (why does that matter?) Which account would you like to transfer from?
Me: Checking to savings.
Her: Ok. In what amount?
Me: 50 dollars.
Her: Was that...fifteen HUNDRED dollars?
Me: NO! FIF-TEE Dollars.
Her: Ok. fifteen dollars. Is that right?
Me: *really fuckin frustrated now* No!
Her: I'm sorry...you must be in an area with bad reception, please-

and then i hung up. that really pissed me off. how the fuck do you even know that I'm on a damned cell phone?! I mean I was but still. Why the hell cant I just talk to a regular damned person? That was like a damned 10 minute conversation for a 2 minute transaction. I was really irritated by it then, and im started to get irritated about it now...so maybe i should just stop. what do you think?

Oh!! Before i go...*draggin my foot back and forth and twiddlin my thumbs infront of me* Ummm...Dave...I kinda maybe sorta a little bit wanted to know if you wanted to see mirrors with me...you know if you want to and all...i mean, i dont know if you have plans or anything...lmao! sike na im not even shy like that. Dave, you IS going to see Mirrors wit me...when i come back from Vegas of course...and you aint got no damned choice bout dat either!! (I like the Rasputia approach better, whaddayou think? *bats eyelashes*) LMAO!!!!

ok im going foreal this time.


15 August 2008

Good News!!

I went for my treatment yesterday and my numbers have decreased dramatically since two weeks ago!! Last Thursday my HcG level was 1371 and when i got my labs back yesterday it was down to 77...SEVENTY FREAKIN SEVEN yall!!!!!! ow! So he says that i should only need 1 more treatment...2 at the most. FRANKS AND BEANS!!! By October ill be good as new...YA DIG?!

Speaking of October...and i know i may be jumping the gun a lotta bit but i wanna go to a Haloween party...like, a costume one. ive always wanted to go but ive never been....but ya girls goin to one this year...mhmmmm. Yall know of any good ones?

What else? Oh! My dads family is coming this weekend and my aunts dont like my stepmom and my stepmom dont like them...HOT DAMN i think were in for some drama folks!! I'll be kickin back and relaxin wit a bag of Orville Redenbachers...unless my aunts get TOO outta pocket wit my stepmom and then i may have to regulate. Thats my fam...but Crystal is my sister and brothers momma...i gotta have her back. it just be's like that.

I'm waiting for another good movie to come out. I think i wanna see Mirrors with Keifer Sutherland and Paula Patton...but thats scary and if you know me, then you know that i need a MAN to go to a scary movie wit bc i acts damn fool. Im really scared of them lol...

My little sister is going to first grade *sniff sniff...tear!* Shes gettin so big!! I cant even beileve (<---that looks wrong...did i spell that right??) oh shit...lol...believe. duh! lmao...anyway, yeah...she's growin up. Now if we could just get my brother to stop biting people and calling strangers jive turkeys (seriously...he does that.) then we be on a roll.

Michael Phelps is beastin in the olympics dawg!! i sure hope this is all him. it would be ashame if he got caught up in some steroid scandal or something.

This was supposed to be a flashback friday hunh? i couldnt think of a story to tell tho...sorry!

have a good weekend!


13 August 2008

It's Been A Long Time...

I shouldna left you...with out a dope...sike lemme stop! Hello all...im baaaaack!! With an explanation of course. Lets see....Wednesday thru Sunday I was sick. I had an earache and a fever and since i didnt come to work and i dont have the innernets at home...i didnt post. Monday I had surgery and was on Percocets, so my post wouldnt have even been coherent if i HAD posted. Tuesday, I was still on the percs...smh. So here we are at Wednesday!!!

Why did I have surgery you ask? Well back in May I had a molar pregnancy which is baisically like a tumor (if you really wanna know exactly what it is then look it up...but i dont feel like givin a detailed explanation and i know you dont feel like reading one...) in your uterus. I had a D&C performed and my GYN thought they had removed the tissue...but negative. When they found out that they hadnt they sent me over to Washington Cancer Institute (no...i dont have cancer) and i began chemotherapy treatments once a week. Even though i dont have cancer, since all of the tissue was not removed they treat it like cancer by administering chemotherapy. if you know anything about chemo then you know that it is used to kill off cells that are growing rapidly than normal. Anyway, two weeks ago, my GYN Oncologist (fancy name, hunh?) said that i wasnt responding as well as he would like to the therapy so they were gonna switch to a more aggressive one. Instead of intramuscular, this one is givin intravenously. However, it is much to strong a drug to just be pumpin through the veins in your arm...so I had surgery on Monday so that they could place a MediPort into my chest and they would inject the chemo through there every OTHER week now. So that is whats going on with me. No, i am not bald headed...I havent even lost hair. I still weigh my usual 164.5 pounds...and i donnt be throwin up and stuff. And if i didnt tell you then you would never even know...hell, i been receivin treatment for about 6 weeks and the people at my job are just now finding out. My doctor says everything should be over and done with in about 3/4 weeks...so im praying for that. And im STILL goin to Vegas!! How you like me now?! lmao...

Any other questions you would like to know the answers to?


10 August 2008

I'm all for goin natural...but DAMN!

Hey Ya'll! Its been strange not postin...and it feels even more strange that I am postin on a Sunday. I NEVER post on weekends!! Guess that goes to show yall how bored i am *sigh*. Well, lets see whats new around here...oh! i just posted a picturrre...look to the right of this post please *waiting while you take a gander* yes im a doll aint i, just the cutest darn thing you ever did see ;)

Anyway this post was gonna be bout my great grandmother....but i cant find any pictures right now and you need them for the story..so later, mmkay? But this weekend i was at my dads house and all of my heathen little cousins where there. there are nine of them...so there were 11 little kids runnin around my fathers house and i never understood when grown up told us that we smelled like outside...but honey when them kids spent all day on the giant trampoline and then came spillin into the house when it was time for dinner....the best word to describe the funk is NATURE. they smelled VERY natural okay? like grass, sticks, dirt and skunks. holy mackerel did they stink! I cant even believe i used to smell like that. the odor was so powerful that it got me wondering at what age do you start insisting that your child wear deodorant? i would have thought at about age 9 or so but when my baby brother ran pat me after his cousins i know i got a whiff of his au naturale and hes only 2!! and the way everyone else was carryin on you would have thought that i was the only one who smelled it! The parents just let them sit right at the table with us clean folk!! i was in shock! like i know that when you become a parent you learn to ignore certain things, but damn that! Maybe im overreacting...has anyone else had this experience?

seriously, im waiting for an answer...


05 August 2008

I'm here

Im'm just busy. well, i lied. im not busy. i just dont have anything to tell you guys...imagine that =/. I finally unlined my blog from facebook so things maybe a lil different around here. But anyway...ill be back. may not be this week, but tuesday i will definitely have a weekend wrap up for yall. promise!

You happy TM? lol

Be good you guys...


01 August 2008

In My Feelings

We Made It!! It's Friday!!!

Whooo! That took a looooong time...lol. So, anyway, I posted a lil creative writing session the other day. Somethin I was just thinkin about....nothin real bc as you all know, I'm not getting any right now (by choice mafucka dont get it twisted!). But my home girl reads it and then tells me that she sent it to her boyfriend. Ummmm....what? I got in my feelins about that bc i feel like that is MY work. My thoughts....my creativity. You just sent my freaky ass thoughts to your boyfriend. She probably thought I was overreacting but whatever. It pissed me off bc essentially she took credit for something that I did. Fine. You wanna send your boo somethin sexy but write somethin that YOU thought of. Not something that I wrote, change a couple words around to fit your relationship and then when he tells you how horny it made him you be like "Yeah, I was just thinkin about you baby...you make me feel like that."

I dunno. Maybe im trippin. i mean i understand that not everybody has the creativity to write whatever they are feeling or they dont know how to put their words together. but if you wrote a song and someone saw it, liked it, and then acted like THEY wrote it, im sure it would piss you off too.

Anyway...water under the bridge now. I WILL NOT be posting any of my work up here, i'll just keep it to myself until its copywritten, that way we wont have this little problem anymore. and if you think i WONT sue if i find out that someone has taken credit for something that i wrote after its been copywritten....TRY ME. Gas is TOO damned high and yall already know its hard out here for a pimp...I want my monies lol! =/

See...and I WAS gonna post some of the book i started writing, but nooooooo!! lmao

Enjoy the weekend everybodies!!