31 July 2008


No not Miami fool...Missing In Action. I'm not really blogging today bc its a half day for me and i have something really important to do so... I dont really have time to be messin off wit yall like that. Fix your face; Dont give me that look I'm gonna leave you guys with somethin to do/read cuz i care, kinda and i know yall be bullshittin at work lol.

Enjoy...Be easy...and ima holla at yall tomorrow.


30 July 2008

Unfinished Business

The way you left me this morning...what can I say? My mind was on you all day. I just kept replaying the events from last night. It started with that massage...mmmmm. You had the oil warmed up just right. and when you drizzled it slowly from my shoulders to my ass, i knew what you had in mind. Your hands felt soooo good on my skin. You rubbed out the kinks in my back...took your time just like i like...kneaded my cheeks with your thumbs...made that spot soakin wet. you went down my legs, from my thigh to my calves. You worked the hell out of my feet. Back up to that crease behind my knees. You got me all relaxed, feelin good. Its like you could sense how bad i wanted you, needed you. You spread my legs and slowly put your fingers inside. I know you felt how wet i was bc it had soaked through the sheet. You kept up that slow stroke with your fingers, makin slow circles with your thumb on my clit....my body tenses up but im trying not to give in. I dont want you to make me come so easily. I grind into your hand while you continue and im touchin myself along with you. My eyes are closed and im enjoying everybit of this. We arent talking but you know what im thinkin. Its been such a long day...i need to just let go of everything. You're still rubbin my clit but with urgency now. I grind faster and just when you feel my body start to jerk, you pull your finger toward yourself while inside me, silently beggin me to come. and i do. It leaves me tired and breathless, and you, satisfied that you have done your job. You lay down beside me as i lick my sweetness of your fingers. No time passes before I am fast asleep.

Now I'm sittin here at my desk unable to concentrate....wet...wantin you. Dont make plans tonight...we have unfinished business to tend to...


29 July 2008

How YOU Doin' LeBron?!

Dear LeBron,

Honey, how do I say this? Ummm...babe, you lookin a lil feminine. A lil "How you doin?" as Wendy Williams would say it. The way your head is cocked and them deuces you are chuckin look sweeter than my cousin Peaches' red kool-aid. And while I understand that you're travelin...that Louis man-purse you're carrying does nothin but add fuel to this fire. The smile, the way your hip is cocked up like you got a lil switch goin on. Honestly, Im worried. I'm positively almost sure that no straight man would be caught dead in a pose like that. NEVER. King James? Please. More like QUEEN!! lol...I'm sorry I had to just throw that in there. You know we still go back like Rihanna's forehead (sike RiRi!! i love you gurl!)...imjussayin this aint a good look for you. The only way to negate this is to take nekkid sidekick flix and send them to my personal email account. What?! I dont write the rules...i just report them =/

Team USA all the way!


Awwww You Guys Care!!!

I was so touched by the 3 caring and uplifting comments that were left yesterday *tear!*. Thanks and when i do finally write that book I'll be sure to include your names in the thank you's. Also, I have fans yall! Like people who read on a daily basis!! Every one wave hi to GiGi and MizUntouchable!! I feel like a celebrity...almost lol. This puts pressure on me tho...its like I have to be funny now because people are counting on it. I'll try.

Anyway, i know i spend alot of my blogging talkin bout men and how i would like one. So just bear with me here while i rant about the lack of eye candy in Pentagon City. Now you all know that i work in the mall part time (come visit us @ The Body Shop...we have a great sale going on....and you can see me!!) and the mall used to be a place where you could find quality material to gaze at. Girls and boys alike. I mean, before you were old enough to drive you would ask your parents to drop you off at your local mall (for me it was St. Charles Towne Center...shout out to "Chuck County"! *rolling my eyes* who says that?! Anyway...) and you and ur gurls or boys would hang out there and see how many girls/guys you could book. At least that wat we did back in the day. So where are the guys now? Wait, i should be more specific...where are the straight men?! Not at pentagon city, honey. I have seen more flamboyantly gay boys runnin around in the last 10 months then i have ever seen in my life...wait, except for that one time i went to PG Plaza...wooooooow. Anyway, dont get me wrong I'm down with the whole...LGBT...Q movment and all (lol Candy) but why does it seem like Pentagon City is their Headquarters? No bullshit, one of my coworkers saw a tranny at the ANTM auditions. A TRANNY!! With a tuck* and everything! Like, are you serious?!

I just miss the old days when sexy men would come to the mall to get fresh for what ever it is they were gonna be doin that night. Seriously, Ive only seen one sexy man...damn was he fine! *stares off into space dreamily* God knew what he was doin when he made him...Lawd Jeezus! Im sorry...oh yeah, and Allen Iverson was strollin through the mall 2 weeks ago. But that wasnt for me cuz he not my type. So yeah, there have only been 2 attractive men in the mall since October of '07. If you think im lyin come see for yourself =/

Ill be at the car wash...i think thats where the sexy men are at in the summer,


*You know what a tuck is. dont even front!

28 July 2008

What Am I Here For?

I know, I know...I am in rare form posting twice on a Monday. But I am in inner turmoil as to what I am supposed to be doing with myself. If you know anything about signs then you know that Pisces are the most creative. I am a pisces in case you didnt know. I feel stifled creatively in my job but i have no idea what I want to do. This is also a trait of the Pisces...indecisveness. I like so many things...music, movies, people, arts and crafts...everything. I used to want to be an actress but I'm not willing to be someone's roommate in LA/NY, waitressing until im 30 while I wait for my big break.

I think thats the reason why I haven't started my own company or written the book that i was talkin about bc im scared of failure. Scared I wont be successful or somethin.

-By the way, this is extremely hard for me to admit. I dont like to admit that I am scared to do anything. I dont even know if this blog is gonna make it to being posted...i guess we'll see =/-

I need to make a decision though because I'm tired of doin this dumbass finance/procurement job. Its runnin me ragged and its not fun. Its only makin the ends meet....

excuse me while i go post my resume on monster,


I Think Im Raging Against The Machine!

Good Morning.

There is no weekend wrap-up. Why, you ask? BECAUSE I DIDNT EFFIN DO ANYTHING!!!! Look for one...oh i dont know....sometime around the 12th of August. Ill just be getting back from visiting my mom's family. I'm sure ill have some fuckery to report, being that my oldest aunt refers to herself as a "BIKER BITCH FA LYYYYFE!!!" ....yes, im serious.

Anyway, as I was saying...my weekend pretty much sucked. I was at work everyday. And while i love my boss and coworkers, no one wants to be at work the whole weekend. But this is for Vegas so im sucking it up *sigh*. Oh! I did meet a cute lil tenderoni Thursday night!! I know what i said and i dont need you remindin me!!! But he has a nice ass and id like to spank it!! lmao...na but hes cool and he doesnt get on my nerves...for right now. He's goin to school in August so this is just a summer thing....like GREASE.

Now. Why is that the title of my post? Bc i just dont give a damn anymore. I noticed this morning that I havent givin a damn for a long time now...particularly about what white people think. I was driving my car listening to Jeezy and Kanye on blast and i pulled up at a light where white people were standin at the crosswalk. Now normally this is where i would have lowered the volume a smidgen bc i didnt want white people mumbling the "N" word as they crossed the street but today? I think i turned it up. lol...i dont know whats gotten into me! I got buck with a lady on the metro this morning for movin like frozen molasses was in her ass. I mean i didnt kirk or anything but i did say "SCUSE ME!" a little rudely. I mean, the doors were about to close and she was just standin in front of me like she didnt hear the "ding ding....doors closing!" When she looked back at me, I gave her the "Bitch whatre you lookin at?!" face. I cant help it! White people are starting to annoy me. Not all of them...i mean i like most of them. But these damned Virginians piss me off. Its like you can almost hear them thinkin that they are better than you or something. I cant quite put my finger on it. But when i do, it wont be my finger theyll have to worry about. itll be my foot....in their ass!

Thats all...i need to eat breakfast and actually start working.

Ciao for Now!


25 July 2008


Im back again and have decided that im gonna do a flashback friday starting today. Ill either post an old blog or tell an old story. Today itll be an older post...one of my more raunchy ones from a while back....let yall in on my badgirl side lol! Ive calmed down alot.


I am soooooo fuckin irritated right now!!! Have you ever had someone in your life that you know you need to cut out? Ugh...fuck it. Im too mad to even blog about this shit right now.

*deep breaths*

I had to eat a rice krispy treat to calm me down. Oh and Happy Friday!! Anyway, im thinkin about writing a book. i started one back in high school but i never finished it bc that shit is hard! lol...It involves alot of research on the background of your characters and the setting of the book (well if your gonna write a good book you do). On top of that you have to try and get it published, or publish it your self. you need an editor and all kinds of other shit. Shit that i dont feel like i would actually feel like doing. I cant remember what my book was about really but it was going in the direction of an urban romance novel...something like Zane, or Eric Jerome Dickey would write. I would let my friends read samples of what i had completed and they loved it...i even wrote this threesome sex scene that so off the chain it seemed real! Everyone that had read it was talkin about it. I even had the guys readin it...lol. The thing is, I dont know where it is. I took it to my cousins house for her to read and the bitch said she lost it. Ever since then, I havent had the energy or the creativity to write a new one. Another thing about writing a book is that whole capitalization/punctuation thing. if you havent noticed....i dont do that when im typing. I dont have time bc most of the time im blogging while my boss' back is turned.

Anyway, since ive been thinkin about doing this i dont wanna write just another FLYY GIRL or COLDEST WINTER EVER. I was thinkin somethin about an urban thriller. what do you think? would you read somethin like that? it has to have sex in it tho...bc i love to write about sex! am i a perv? Never mind well talk about that later lol.

At first i thought this was just a fleeting thought. I mean, i havent written anything of the sort in like 2 years. and i need to get back in the groove. Idk yall...i really have to think about this....please let me know what yall think too.



24 July 2008

Thursday's Thoughts

Hello, good afternoon and all that jazz!

My homegirl Dayzd wrote a post about what good dick was, elaborating on my comment last night. i read it and concur. Now you men, go read and heed, mmmk? thx.

I went over my fathers house for dinner last night. In the course of about an hour and a half my little brother wrote on the wall...in permanant marker, mooned me by way of my little sisters ass and bit me. My little sister sang a medley that went somethin like this: "BUSS IT BAYBAY! she dont got that good thang *inaudible mumble* hoodthing ask around they know us to the left to the left eeverything you own in a box to the left in the closet, yes jesus loves me!!" [S E R I O U S F A C E] shes 6 and hes 2.

i was really upset that my sister was singin buss it baby and that she had me singin it in my head by the time i left.

My stepmom sho can cook!! we had pot roast, mac and cheez and cornbread...she apologized for the lack of veggies. i heart pot roast.

Would you date someone off the internet? i would. i think. i dont know how that would get started tho being that i refuse to save people i dont know to my myspace and facebook accounts. im proud that i can say that i know everyone on my page.

i keep meanin to post my pic up here. at least in my profile. someone could be fallin in love wit me (read: my writing) right now and stop bc they dont know what i look like. Im not a mud duck. i promise!! lmao. seriously tho...im not.

have you ever thought about the fact that you might have seen one of ur blogger pals somewhere and never knew it? thats strange to me. i could have been sittin next to Super Dave on the metro yesterday!

i was listenin to the radio this mornin and this woman was talkin bout she met a guy on the plane...had sex with him in the handicap stall in the airport...sent him flowers 3 weeks later and his fiance called her and wanted to know who she was. She was askin the DJ if he thought the dude was cheating...yes, there are really broads that dumb.

well...im done. half day for me!!

so long, farewell, aufweidersein, goodbye!!


23 July 2008

What I Mean Is...

Damn I aint get no love on yesterdays post!! lmao. Anyway...i reread my post from yesterday and the part where i said that i needed some mucho exellente sex action stuck out to me. you see, last night while i was at work Island Breeze texted me and said that he thought that i needed something and that he had it for me. That i would really Really REALLY enjoy it and all this other stuff. That right there let me know he was talkin nasty and that also let me know that he is definitely readin everyday (even tho he said he changed his mind about readin my blog). It kind of irritated me bc i clearly specified in my post that not just anyone would be gettin that treatment. And as of right now...he is just anyone. so i am going to fully explain what i mean when i say i want some sex.

I dont mean just sex. i can get that from anywhere. As a matter of fact i can name about 5 guys that i know want the goods. They are not gettin them bc either they dont have the entire package or i havent gotten to know them. You see, what im lookin for is someone who i can laugh and joke with but also be serious with. Someone who i am totally comfortable to do anything with. Someone who is openminded, doesnt always like to hear themselves talk about...themselves and someone who understands that while i like you and enjoy spendin time with you, i work 14 hour days, 70 hour weeks and sometimes i just dont fuckin feel like bein bothered. is that so wrong?

Im not askin that they make $60,000 a year...or that they be ready to get married next tuesday. Just a chill ass person that i can chill in the house wit, or go to the stripclub or whatever it is that we decide that we are into. Its nice to be held at night and snuggled when its stormin...you want that shit to you just dont wanna say it!

While im on this rant tho, please do not underestimate the power of some good dick. That shit works wonders for a stressful day. Yep. I think ima start handin out applications or somethin lol cuz this is serious. You'll like me...i promise! If you do your part, I make bomb ass club sandwhiches after a good sex session...just thought i'd let you know that.


22 July 2008

Tuesdays Thoughts

Good Afternoon!

How do you tell someone that they play too much? I mean not in a good way, but in a youre-always-tryna-be-funny-but-ur-really-gettin-on-my-nerves-way. I'm just irritated bc im tryna get to know him but we never can have a serious conversation bc hes always clownin...its getting old.

This guy called me out of the blue last night tellin me how much he really cared about me and how he wanted us to spend more time together. It came as a surprise bc when he called i was wonderin when i was gonna meet someone that wanted the same things i did right now like a relationship and such. I already know him, but im thinkin that i put him in the "friend bin" for a reason. i think im just scared to see what hes really about. i need to man up hunh? lol

why is my aunt talkin bad to me about my stepmom? yeah my aunt is fam...but Crystal (stepmom) is my little sister and brother mom. i think ima have to have her back on this one.

Im so confused and bewildered (i always use those words in combination lol) that i have not seen ONE man in uniform that i think is sexy. not one. i work in the pentagon. it is swarming with army, navy, marines, and air force guys...i just dont get it.

i need some sex. and not mediocre sex....i want passionate, mindblowing, sweat out ur perm/press, need a blunt afterward, almost almost make me call you daddy...type sex. *sigh* but that cant happen with just anyone....and i dont have no one on my roster that i can get it crackin like that wit...hell, i dont even have a roster right now lol.

i think im gonna try and make it out to Kings Dominion this summer.

my homegirl comes home from italy in 12 days!!! im sooo excited bc 18 days after that we goin to VEGAS!!! i dont know what im gonna do wit myself!

Why are the married men i work wit always tryna talk to me? i seriously dont get it. I DONT DO MARRIED MENZ!! gosh!

I turned my cable off bc im never home. im always at work. but now im miserable. I cant watch real world...greys anatomy is bout to come back on...i think i need to at least get basic. and i need to get my innernets back.

the boss is back but hell be gone to PA tomorrow. he had me crackin up about the gay men in puerto rico...and about how him and his wife was in some sex shop...clearly yall be gettin freaky on vacation...oww! lol

Anyway...thats it for now...


21 July 2008

Weekend Wrap-up

Woooow! That went by soo fast. I feel like i just wrote one of these yesterday! Anyway....

Friday: I get off at my part time job and MGD asks me if i wanna go to the bar. Now usually, I just wanna go home and relax after workin a 70 hour week but i had off the next day so why not? I get to his house, pick him up and we head to Bostons. (Oh bostons how i love thee! I sooo heart your southwest ravioli...mmmmmm) Once we get there, I request my usually server Michelle and I order my SW ravioli and a malibu and coke. MGD orders a heineken. We talk for a while and out of no where MGD asks if i wanna do a shot of Patron. Now, I dont drink like that...i usually stick to my amaretto sours and malibu and cokes...they taste good and dont get me drunk.

*side-note:* Ive only been drunk once. Seriously! It was New Years that just passed....i acted a damned fool up in adams morgan...you hear me?! *taps the computer screen*

Anyway, i was a little nervous about it but i let him order them. We got the shots, and we get ready to do them...i punk out. MGD does his and he is makin the face of nastiness. He takes a sip of his beer and then.....


He ran to the bathroom to finish i guess, but the damage had been done. I was disgusted, embarrassed and mad as hell! The manager comes and cleans it up but he is rollin his eyes so hard at me that i thought they were gonna get stuck. People were lookin...omg it was horrible. Then MGD comes back to the table talkin bout," They kickin us out." Michelle was nice about it tho...she offered him some water and kept askin if he was ok. i asked her for the bill and when she brought this fool gon ask me if i wanna go half...WTF?! I payed half and hauled ass outta there...i pulled up at his house and before he could get his feet all the way out the door i was pullin off. Ol cant hold my liquor lookin boy! Best believe his ass gave me that 30 dollars back tho. shit.

Saturday: Nothin to report. I laid in bed all day. [B I G C H E E S E!]

Sunday: Woke up and made plans to see the Dark Knight wit Island Breeze, who by the way knows alll about my blog thanks to facebook lol. *Everybody wave hi to island breeze!* I could tell that he liked being written about...he was lookin for all the posts that had stuff to do wit him...sorry babe, not that many lmao! We met up in his neck of the woods and after i spent all that time shavin and gettin all sexified do you know this fool aint say NATHAN about how good i looked?! NOTHIN! i got in his car (i loooove his car its sooo pretty) and he didnt say anything. we got to the movies and he didnt say anything. we left the movies and he didnt say anything. i was a little pissed about that. but we talked about it later and i set him straight!! lol. Next time ima show up in some sweatpants and a white tee and see what the hell he thinks about that! lol.

The Dark Knight was sooooo good! It made 150 million at the box office opening weekend!! Definitely worth it and Heath Ledger played the HELL outta Joker!! He was creepy but for some reason i liked him. I wish he was still alive to do a part 2...cuz that joint would be off the chain! and Christian Bale...oh honey help me cuz that man did Batmans outfit justice!! That is a fine ass white man. fine ass white man!!

yall may see another post from me today...the boss is still out =)


18 July 2008

Crrrrazy and Deraaaaanged...again.

Did yall miss me yesterday? You aint gotta lie to kick it, Craig! I know you did. Well im sorry i had to leave yall hangin but i told you the bos was in PR so I had to cut up a lil bit.

Anyway, so Im at work last night talkin on the phone to my cousin and guess whi walks in my damned store...Crazy/Deranged. Fuck me if i cant get away from him!! Anway, he starts talkin bout how him and his roommate were in NW, DC and his roommate was disrespectfully shoutin at girls...i dont know blah blah blah and then i hear him say that they got pulled over in Montgomery Co. over the weekend and the cops found weed on them and they planted Cocaine in the car...cocaine. cocaine?! COCAINE! are you fuckin kiddin me?! like seriously...not only are you crazy but ur a COKEHEAD?! *holding my head* Lord Jesus i cant deal with this, please take the wheel!!

So I'm standin behind the register, mouth probably WIDE open, and im thinkin "Holy tartar sauce! I have to blog about this!"

*side-note:* when crazy stuff happens to you do you automatically think to blog about it? just wonderin...

But yeah so im just listen to him and i think he really believes his story about the cops plantin that on them...but im not inclined to think that story is true. if he was normal then yes, maybe i would but him bein a cokehead would explain his erratic behavior! I mean he be talkin fast and sweatin (not hard,k but his forhead always be shiny) and he's angry and crazy! At first i thought it was ABMS (angry black man syndrome) but now this all makes sense.

When he was finished goin into detail about his charge or whatever he says, "Aight well i'll stop by to see you tomorrow." and im thinkin no! dont do that! but thats not the kind of thing you can say without makin a crackhead mad...and who knows what hell do then? =/

Have a good Weekend...


16 July 2008

A Poem for the Queens...and Princesses

Hold up before i post this can i just say that right about now my ass is on fire. like, seriously. O...M...G. I ate Popeye's popcorn shrimp (mmmm they are so good!) and it came out the same way it went down....SPICY!

enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to...

something perfect to wear if the employer, or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...

a youth she's content to leave behind....

a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age....

a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...

one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry...
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family..

eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal, that will make her guests feel honored...

a feeling of control over her destiny...

how to fall in love without losing herself..

how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without; ruining the friendship...
when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

that she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

that her childhood may not have been perfect...but its over...

what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...

whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally...

where to go... be it to her best friend's kitchen table... or a charming inn in the woods... when her soul needs soothing...

what she can and can't accomplish in a day... a month...and a year...

15 July 2008

I Guess Thats Just How You Was Raised...

lil boy: Aight Shawty, Ima holla at chu (starts walkin outta my store)
me: Did that lil nigga just call me 'shawty'?! Boy Ima grown assed woman!
lil boy: And you still wouldnt know what to do with this!!

What the hell was that?!?! Did i get sonned by an eighteen year old high schooler who was askin for money for new football uniforms?! He has no idea how old I am and thats the way he decides to approach me? By the way he was tryna holla cuz that aint the first time he been in my store talkin all fresh. I was honestly in shock! I know that i am only 22 but honey im a grown 22. I live alone, drive my own car, pay my own bills and work TWO jobs. What the hell would make you think that i would go for that wack ass game?! Do i look like a low budget PG broad to you? Hell no.

I told my boss about it and he talkin bout some "whats the problem?!" The problem is that i dont want no damned tenderoni! What the hell we gon do wit his lil McDonalds paycheck (if he even works)? He gon say well, you could show him a few things...turn him into a man. Honey, i'd do stuff to that lil boy he aint even seen in his fathers pornos...okaaay?! He barely got a mustache on his upper lip and he tombout: You wouldnt know what to do wit this. I'll put you over my knee and beat that fresh ass!

I need someone that can hold a conversation. not some just outta puberty child. If you asked him what cunnilingus and fellatio were he'd prolly scrath his barely there beard and tell you he thought they learned about them in history or somethin dumb like that. Boy bang! Get the hell on somewheres...

I guess thats just how he was raised!



*singin like ol' dude on Sister Act...yes, I am hitting the high note*

Yes, Yes, Yesssssss! My Boss is going to Puerto Rico tomorrow!!! Holy tartar sauce, yall have NO idea how tired I am...so tomorrow i am sleeping in, honey! I was so tired this morning that my alarm went off at 545 am and i hit the 10 minute snooze until 7 am. I just couldnt get myself together...not to mention the power is out in my bedroom and bathroom...ONLY in my bedroom and bathroom tho, as in, the lights and power in the rest of my apartment is fine. WTH?! I had such a hard time wrappin my hair in the dark last night that i almost (almost) cut it off.

But anyway...my bossll be gone til monday!! then hes back on Tuesday, and then hell be in Pennsylvania til the end of hot damn month!!!! If i can get some decent sleep in between now and wed-nes-day (say it just like i wrote it) then ill be hittin the club with Candy and Cass for part deux of her Bornday Extravaganza!! If not then ill be catchin Zzzzz's that night. Ill be sure to let you guys know tho.

Why was i on the metro this mornin and i seen this thug lookin ass nigga bobbin his head to his ipod. I automatically assume he listenin to slim thug or some shit. I get closer bc the metro was PACKED and this fool is listenin to Mariah Carey's Always Be My Baby...somethin aint right bout that...im just sayin.

Just thought i'd leave yall wit that,


14 July 2008

Weekend Wrap-Up

Ok so here goes (I'll try to make it quick since im sleepy and I hve shit to do.)

Friday: I had to work at my PT job but after I got off I went home, showered and headed to the Penthouse. Yes, I was in the strip club again. lol...no I'm not a regular, It was Candy Dandy's Bday!! As soon as I got there, I got apprehended by some fugly dude in an AT&T cardigan. he was missing teeth...and his breath stank. I spotted Candy in her bday tiara and i went over and gave her a hug and my bday present to her: $5. What?!?! Man, five dollarsll get you a gallon of gas and since she dont drive that extra monies in her pocket!! lol...plus ise ballin on a strict budget. ANyway i sit down and wait for her girlfriend to get there. 15 minutes after sittin down, these two guys start talkin to me. One was too busted and the other one was just a tad ugly. but the extremely busted ones be the boldest so he asks me:

Busted: You work here?
me: ummm...no.
busted: what you doin here?
me: that girl right there is my homegirl and its her bday...you should give her some monies.
busted: (gets up and tips candy and comes back) so what do you do?

i explain what i do and then he proceeds to ask me what my goals are. What?! Are you really gonna try and wife me while you have a half nekkid woman poppin her coochie To "Drop and Gimme Fifty" in your face?! no. you are not. So i conveniently turn the conversation to sports. We have a 45 minute comversation about how the Cowboys are better than the redskins. He asks me if i want another drink, being that my Malibu and Coke was 8.75, you know i went ahead and let him get me another joint. I guess he thought that that got him in there like swimwear cuz then he's like:

busted: you married?
me: no.
busted: you talkin to somebody?
me: no.
*silence...i guess i wasnt givin him the go ahead to ask for my number*
Me: *blank stare for like 30 seconds lol*
Him: *stuttering* ummm...so would you be trying to get to know someone?
me: no.

Then Candy walked over and said her Girfriend was there. I politely grabbed my purse, thanked him for the drink and was on my merry way. Once i got over to Cass (candys gf) the fuckery began. In the course of like 2 hours I saw a bored stripped half ass grindin her cooch on some dude for a dollar, Candy cursed someone out for touchin her ass (tooooo funny!) and another stripper threw a dollar at a dude cuz he was dancin so hard he looked like the rent was due yesterday...now THAT had me dyin laughin!! On the way out Candy cursed out on of the bouncers...she was WASTED honey, okaaay?! I headed home at about 3 am cuz i was tired and I had to open my store at 10 am.


Holy Tartar sauce...was the mall full of hot messes or what?! ANTM had auditions at Pentagon City and lord jesus...smh. Nothin eventful really happened but right before i was about to walk out some extra ghetto south east DC broad and her clan come strollin up in our store raisin hell about some damn return. IDK honey bc i didnt even finish the transaction. I politely clocked out and let my store manager handle that cuz we do have box cutters and i will slice a bitch. I couldnt deal with it. I left and on the way out some old ass Spanish man is askin me what song I am listenin to ( i was blastin Three 6 Mafia's This Bitch That Hoe...why is that his favorite song?!) so i tell him and he keeps on talkin bout how he always hears it on the radio or somethin (no. you dont old man) and then next thing i know some homeless man is right next to my window tellin me that the spanish dude is crazy and not to listen to him....by the way could i spare any change? Man i laughed so hard that when the light turned green I almost ran over his lil dirty toes!! Anyway, I went and got my hair done and waited for Cass to call about the plans for the club that night...but somehow we missed each others calls and I ended up at Bostons again with Brandiiwine where we had some drinks and sexually harrassed our barely legal server. That was fun. We went to her house and fell asleep.


Lazy day. The only remotely interesting thing that happened was some gangbangin lookin vietnamese nail technician grabbed my hand and told me I needed a fill. He needed a manicure bc after he let my hand go i felt like he peeled a layer of my skin off. That waws about it. Oh yeah...and somethin caught on fire behind my building. Thats all.

How was yalls weekend?


11 July 2008

iPhone Insanity

I had a serious post for yall...really i did. But then somethin happened while i was on my way to work that made me forget all about what i was gonna write.

So i park my car at Pentagon City and as i am coming down the escalator i see a line wrapped around the ENTIRE length of the 2nd level of the mall. (just to give you an idea of how big the mall is...) so im like what in sam hell is goin on here?! I know that line wasnt for no damn Jordans cuz i aint NEVER seen a line like that for shoes. So i turn my head in the direction of where the line was headed and i see the SONY store and then it clicks! The new iPhone came out today!! *wait for it...*

who gives a fuck?!

Apparently these people do. Now I'm not a technology groupie by any means. To be honest with you as long as my phone takes and picture and i can text, i really could care less. But i would think that if somethin had half the popluation goin ape shit, then majority of people should understnad why. The 2 men that i know that have the iPhone dont even use everything on it. Island breeze cant even send me a picture from his joint cuz its always actin up. The other guy has showed me all kinds of gadgets that it features but if your gainfully employed, have a girlfriend, or beat off on the regular, when would you have time to use all of them?! Granted, the new model isnt 500 dollars like the last one (it retails for $299 for the 16 gigabyte version) but regardless, in 6 months somethin better will be out and they'll be skippin work to stand in line for that!

I really just dont understand. Is it for braggin purposes? Does it make you feel like a better person? I hope so. Just remember tho that if you spend $300 on a new iPhone, please have the money to pay the bill...BRANDON ANDERSON!

Confused! Bewildered! Lethargic!*


10 July 2008

Cheap Date or Creative Romantic?

Hello Good People!

No side notes about random songs at the begininning of this post (i couldnt think of one.) I kinda sorta maybe stole this post from the Very Smart Brothas (by the way i loooooves their site. Its a very helpful guide to the male mind).

Anway, I am am very flexible when it comes to dating. We can go to a park and chill (as long as it isnt a crackhead ridden drug infested park), or we can go out to eat. I really am not the kinda chick to want the guy to spend alot of money...bc when it comes time for me to pay he can best believe I aint takin his ass here.

I like those dates they go on on the dating shows. They do fun stuff like salsa lessons, and make pottery ( i always wanted to do that like on Ghost lol) those seem inexpensive and creative. Just bc a man spends 120 dollars on a date doesnt mean anything. Unless he pays with cash, then he's prolly just runnin up his already ski high credit card bill. And if he doesnt pay it on time then his credit will be bad and then when its time for yall to buy your house you wont be able to (you like how you went from the first date to buyin a house right?) and if he does pay in cash then he might be a drug dealer cuz...who carries cash like that nowadays?! i kid i kid. Anyway...all of this is to ask you fine ladies what you consider a cheap date or if it really even matters?

I have a half day today so im chillin...


09 July 2008

Is something off here?

Okay. Now I feel the need to add a disclaimer. There is no hate here. Im just tryna figure things out. Now correct me if I am wrong but usually Gabby looks flawless on the Red Carpet. I love her dress, i havent really decided yet on that necklace. But her face just seems....*whats the word im lookin for here*...off. I mean look, shes has on this cakey ass foundation. Since when has Gabby needed foundation?! Her skin is always radiant. and then those eyelashes are the hideousness. they look like a black widow died on her eyelids (you know how spiders legs bunch up when they die). I think my problem with this is that she looks too made up. Gabz a natural beauty and always has been. Oh! and who did her hair?! With her money she shouldnt look like she bought her weave from Miss Mai Ling from the PennMar Station Beauty Supply. Its all shiny and stringy. My weave dont even look like that! (She betta holla at that Outre' in the yellow and purple pack!) Im just disappointed. There was no need to jack yourself up for the premier of "MEET DAVE" when Eddie Murphy (the star) didnt even bother to show up.
I must say though, that the boobies are lookin cute and perky! I like my 36D's and they are perky but its still inappropriate for me to go braless. 34B's might be cute...but anything higher than that is raunchy, IMO.
what do yall think bout her look?
see more pics from the event @ http://concreteloop.com

Foreman Mills?! Bitch Please.

Hola! What it do shawties? wait before i get started I have to ask yall a question. Is it just me or is R. Kelly tryna be slick in his remix to Raheems Davaughns song "customer"? Yall know the part where he be like, "shawty if ya thirsty, i got some real good lemonade..." Bitch i know you like to piss on little gurls...are you talkin bout pissin on somebody? you nasty lil bastard. Robert i know you over there talkin bout pissin on somebody. you just nasty. and dont think i didnt hear you on the make it rain remix too...PERV! I'd punch him in the balls if i ever got the chance.


This isnt anything recent but i was talkin to a coworker of mine last night about MGD. Lemme explain him first. He's 24, has only a part time job, no license, no car, and obviously he still lives at home. He is madly in love with me, a 22 year old, full AND part time job having, car owning, own apartment with no roommate, woman. Yes, he treats me better than any other man ever has and hes sooooo sweet. but sweet love dont pay the bills honey. and why would i want a man that doesnt work as hard as me?! dont even waste your time answerin that bc i dont. Let me get back to what i was postin about.

In December, MGD emails me to tell me that he loves me. this is the first time that he had said it. i was shocked. in the same email he tells me that he wants to take me shopping at...you guessed it. Foreman Mills. WTF?!?! Do i look like a FM type chick to you?! For the 2 chicks that know me personally on my blog, they will tell you the answer is no. now dont get it twisted. ill rock a target t-shirt in a heartbeat. one of my cutest belts came from walmart. but Forman Mills is for people wit 8 kids. If you live in the DC area then you know what im talkin bout. Honestly, i didnt even know that FM carried adult clothes!!! i'm sorry but i think that THAT email was when any teeny weeny tiny bit of hope that i had about us bein anything more than friends with occasional benefits was crushed. (that and that the time that i was layin in his bed and woke up at 5 oclock in the morning bc of the yellow flashin lights of the repo man were beamin through the window like natrual light...they were repossesing the rental bc the car they had before had already been repossesed) I mean, thats not the kind of life i want to live!! My mom raised me on Macys!! Im a Macys gurl and if i never bc a Nordstrom/Neiman Marcus chick at least ill die with Apple Bottom Jeans and clearance Steve Madden boots (dont fake like yall dont know bout the Macys shoe sale!) and not the Foreman Mills knockoff. What do yall think? To be honest, I could giuve a shit! Im screamin MACYS til i die!! * Throws the "west side" sign upside down and crip walks*


08 July 2008


*side note* Is it me? Or does The Dream sound like a sick baby lamb in his song "i love ur girl"? Listen to it next time its on. The part where its like "she drop it down to flo, im like shawty you should go and she like aaaaaaaah...aaaah...aahhh!" Sick baby lamb i tell you.

I had a serious post for you guys today but i thought against it. you see, my blog is linked to my facebook account. That means that everyone that I went to middle and high school with would know alllllll of my business. That used to didnt bother me...but now it does. why? i havent the slightest. I know i know...youre sayin...pink, honey....why dont you just unlink it? And i would if a.) i remembered how and b.) i actually remembered to do it. So since i havent...you guys will just have to do with what i dont mind facebook knowing....

Dont look at me like that. In my last post i said we did bad things...i didnt say I got some sex. Honestly, I dont even really know if im feinin anymore. I think that i just like to shout it out every once in awhile. I mean, i could get some sex if i reeeeeeally wanted it. so that means that i must not want it that bad right? i guess. I think that its really more of an intimacy thing. You know, someone to hold hands with...someone to be affectionate with. Stuff like that. I mean...me and Island Breeze are kinda like that but not really. I enjoy the time i spend with him but it takes alot for me to just be all kissy kissy with someone. I guess im sayin I want a boyfriend. But not just any old boyfriend...i want THE boyfriend. The one I can do everything with. and i do mean EVERYTHING.

*side note:* My friend just told me that he has an advance copy of his book THE MISEDUCATION OF THE FEMALE...and im tooooooooo excited!!!
Anyway where was i? Oh yeah i want a boyfriend...blah blah blah. Im not even in the mood to write about that anymore. I think i just need to chill out. Im gettin my monies together for my trip to vegas and then in November hopefully ill be somewhere outta the country sippin on alchoholic beverages wit my homegirl Sunshine!! Man, thats my ace for real...i miss her =(...she keeps me semi sane...so that means that ive basically been crazy since the end of May. I have *hold on...im countin my calendar...* 25 days til she comes home!!!! Holy Tatar Sauce people! And she brought me somethin extra fab from ITALIA.
Anyway im just rambling...its tuesday...im bored...and im going to bloghop now.

07 July 2008

Loooong weekend wrap-up

I say good monday mornin to ya!

i had a pretty good weekend! I was off and i just relaxed and did my version of partyin...bc im not really a partier per se.

Lets start with Friday:

I had to get my effin tire fixed. well i had to spend 194 dollars to get new tires!! Double fuck shit on that. I also need a front end alignment, but kisha (my car) will be quite alright with out one ya dig?! Anyway, Me and Brandywiine watched the fireworks (which we didnt think were gonna happen bc of the rain) And then i had a movie date (this is where the good part starts). I didnt make it to island breezes house in time for the movie so we were riding around trying to decide what we were gonna do at midnight on a friday. So me being the brilliant and adventurous chick that i am, suggest that we hit the Penthouse. I think that he didnt think that i was serious cuz he starts hemmin and hawin about wether we should go and im like, "well are you scared?!" and of course in the way to defend his manhood hes all like" hell na i aint scared!" So we go. And im excited bc my homegirl Innocence was dancin that night and i havent seen her in a while. We get our drinks and sit down and I point out Innocence to him and hes like oh shes sexy or whatever...to which i laugh on the inside cuz she dont want him, honey! She licks. she doesnt like the stick....if you get my drift (aww shucks that rhymed!!) But anyway were watchin the other girls and some can dance, some cant. Most of the girls are pretty. He decides he wants to pick a top three and so i participate bc it was a fun lil game to play. when Innocence gets a break she comes and sits down next to us and the men are lookin like why she sittin next to them?! Im thinkin to myself...HELLO!?!? Strippers have regulars lives outside the club and ive known this gurl since middle school! We chopped it up for a minute and then she goes to dance on the next stage. She calls me over there and drops it likes it hot and next thing i know i see that she has that extra sensitive piece of skin down there pierced (not the clit...the taint or somethin like that) And then i look at her and shes beamin like she just handin me a boucin bundle of joy!! that chick is crazy...lol! After that we said our goodbyes, and me and island breeze dipped out. We were greeted at my car by some crack head shouting, "G-g-g-g-g-G Unit!" [SERIOUS FACE] i am not jokin. We got to his house and did bad stuff and thats all i have to say about that lmao!


Would you believe that i left my dang blasted wallet over his house?! So i had to get up at like 10 am (i didnt get in the house til like 430) and drive from fort washington alll the way back to hyattsville. [BLOWN.FACE] I came back home and went to sleep. i slept until about 5 pm. i was THAT tired. I got up and went to my dads house. Some random lady that i guess is my dads first cousin was there. i dont think i like her. Neither does my stepmom. i think its one of those long lost cousin who comes back to the family and automatically needs money. case and point: shes already asked for 600 dollars...shes only been there 4 days.

After i left there, i was headed to waldorf to pick up miss brandywiine to go get tipsy at the local bar. AS of thursday the plan was for her me and my cousin to get all sexified get some drinks and go see Innocence...but my cousin flaked out and since i had just went on Friday, there was no need to go again. I think i may go on Saturday tho...but not with Island Breeze. ill let some fat guy buy my drinks and give me money to tip the girls...lol. anyway...i pull up at this light and thses guys are like:

them: where you goin?
me: wheere you goin?!
them: we goin to a cookout!
me: well im goin to the bar.
them: na! come to the cookout wit us...we got liquor there!
me: hell no! ion know yall!
them: gurl! act your age and not your bra size!

then i pull off cuz the light is red. ummm just to let you all know...i wear a 36 D. exactly. lol. I pull up and Brandiiwines and of course this slut is not ready...so i wait for her. We finally leave and get to Bostons. I order a Mojito and an appetizer...she orders a Pineapple Upside Down and we start our usual inappropriate conversation which consists of Boys, sex, how we hate our jobs and sex and freaky talk and text. (seriously, thats usually what we talk about lmao!) I finish my Mojito and we both order another. but this time they were nasty. so we call the manager over and do you know what this twat says?! He cannot take it off of our check! I was LIVID! Im gonna call about that. Dave W. was the managers name. i should get him fired. Anyway...i drop Brandiiwine off and then i head over to MGD (i gotta get a new name for him bc he is NOT Mr. Good Dick anymore) house where i proceed to fall asleep on him bc he thought he was gettin some sex...HA! lol


I get to my house around 830 am and lay around the house for the remainder of the day. I even went to the grocery store in pajama pants. Thats about it. lol.

exhausted...but happy!


03 July 2008

Thursdays Thoughts

First off...how boosted am I that its Thursday!??! No work tomorrow and im leavin at 130!! Too Boosted I tell you!!

Anyway, I lied bout sunshine and obviously i cant count...i have 30 more days...not 50.

Why does it piss me of fthat my boss didnt say anything about it being his birthday?! He never does. Last year he forgot! How the hell do you forget the day you were born?!

My homegirl OnStar just recently started bloggin and im soo glad!! She also has a stalker...thats scary.

Im angry that more people dont comment on my blogs. i know ur reading this! bastards.

My great uncle is having a cookout and i dont wanna go. i dont like him and his wife. but ill be hungry. =)

it always threatens to rain on 4th of July. That makes me sad bc i love fireworks.

There are no sexy men who work in the pentagon. NONE. like i havent seen one since summer started.

why did my mom suggest that i marry someone in the military so that i could get free benefits. i think she was serious.

i would like to be married soon...but not for convenience.

did i tell yall i almost got kicked outta church camp?

i have work to do...but im not sure itll get done today.

I need some sex. I think im gonna get some this weekend.

how would you tell someone that you were in love with them? When is too soon for you?

i cant wait to go to vegas!!!!

12kyle says that Fantasia is ghetto and country...true. but i like her! shes real...

my dads family is comin in from outta town. did i offer for anyone to stay at my apartment? no.

is that selfish?

TM!!! Where have you been all my life?!?!

okay...im done. i guess i should work now. i guess.



02 July 2008

You Gotta Be Kidding Me...

Why did i see a man crossin the street and it looked like he had a bandana on...upon closer inspection i noticed that it was perm stuff or a thick azz conditioner...

why did this man yawn right in my face and his breath smelled like coins and hot coffee? It was 815 am.

why does the arrogant dick head who works in my office have a stain right in his azz crack? im not gonna tell him.

why did my boss just say he loves his women like he likes his coffee: black. He has a korean wife.

why did my friend just tell me that she went on a day trip to AC with a guy and he was musty? I told her when she FIRST told me bout him that he looked like he stunk lol.

Im sorry...i had to post about these randomocities today and i know i started every sentence wit "why did" but when i saw or heard this stuff i thought "you gotta be kidding me" so thats what i named the post...i should have a real post shortly...if i can think of one. =)

a couple more hours til my friday! and 50 days til sunshine is back!


01 July 2008

TAGGED!! well not really...lol

I wasnt tagged with this but i saw it on another blog and decided to do it...so =P

"List seven songs that you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're not any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now, shaping your spring summer. Post these instructions in your blog along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they're listening to."

1. I kissed a Girl by Katy Perry- i love this song...its so fun and energetic and its somethin ill prolly never do...lol

2. Heaven Sent by Keyshia Cole- THE love song for me right now!! i hated it for like 1 week but now im back to loving it.

3. I Put On For My City by Jeezy feat. Kanye- This my thug song...lol. makes me feel like a thug...and i love Jeezys ad libs....HA HA! Thaas riiight! lmao

4. A Milli by Weezy- Another thug joint...

5. Get Silly by VIC- this song gets me hype and i dont know why cuz i dont really like the soulja boy/dance songs really

6. Hi Hata by ??- i dont know who sings things but i kinda dig it. i dont really have haters tho...and if i do...ive never thought enough about them to acknowledge them lol

7. Take a Bow by Rihanna- Neyo wrote this and Rihanna sang it for me to my recent ex lol...it tells the whooooole story. i love it and sing it at THE top of my lungs whenver its on the radio...

You Can Take Everything Else...But I'm Keeping This!!

Tuesday!! For me this means I have 2 more days til my Friday (which is really Thursday) and I dont have to work ALLLLLL freakin weekend!!!! Can you tell I'm excited? And Sunshine comes home in like 52 days!!! We is gon P-A-R-T-Y!!!

Oh yeah!...update on my conversation with Mr. Crazy/Deranged. It went ok. I dont think he was really receptive to what I was sayin...or maybe he just didnt understand that i was tellin him that i DID NOT want to talk to him anymore. I dont know...I just told him that he had a lot of issues to deal with before he should be tryna get with anyone else...namely me. He just agreed with what i was saying the whole time. so well see if i continue to get calls from him or not. i hope not. =)

Back to what i was supposed to be blogging about...I started thinkin aobut it when i was drivin in to work today. I saw a guy with a COWB.OYS decal on his back window. I dont know what made me think about it today when i see them all the time but whatever....wait...im sure ur like "what the hell is she talkin bout, why does this even matter?!" But you see, when me and my ex boyfriend first got together i didnt know anything about football. i decided i wanted to learn and he was the one who tought me. I learned about football with the Cowboys...my first jersey is a cowboys jersey and we even went to a Cowboys game in Dallas! I'm a cowboys fan for life! Its just that way. When we broke up for good, i was all about gettin rid of everything that reminded me of him. Ringtones...CD's that belonged to him, his boxers, Tshirts, and any other thing that he might have left around my apartment. I even deleted his phone number so that when he called his name wouldnt pop up. he would be nameless and in a sense...unimportant. So when i so the decal today i was like, "yeah, i probably should get another team." But then not even 2 seconds later i was angry!! Like, mad. lol. and I was thinkin "Eff that! I'm not gonna stop likin them bc of him!!" I have never been so proud to be a cowboys fan in my life!! lol...it kinda felt like a divorce like you can have the house, but im takin my kids you bastard!! lmao. But seriously...im keepin that.

Cant wait for the first game of the season!!