30 November 2008

Post club conversation

What it do? Im on my way home from ohio right now (praise jesus...cuz can't nobody work ya nerves like family), so I thought I would blog.

I could tell yall how my gg told me that she had "special nostrils" and she could tell when someone had been sexin and hadn't washed themselves...and that's how she knew her 3rd husband was a whore. Or I could tell you how a fight almost broke out and my aunts house between her and the neighbor over a coat. I even thought about tellin yall how we took thxgvn pix in front of a scarface background...yep just like we was in the club.

But na, I don't think I will...at least not today. Today, im gonna tell yall about somethin my uncle told me when we were on our way back from the club. Now, he'd had a couple beers and a few puffs of the herb before we left but somethin tells me that he was dead serious about this lil gem he dropped on me. And before I tell u what he said im gonna ask that my men readers verify wether this is true or whether it even makes sense to a man ...plz and thx =)

Ok. So he told me that if a woman has 2 or 3 baby daddies that the pussy is prolly real good. He said that she's not someone you should wife but she's good for a lil fun. When I asked him where he came to this conclusion he said that if 4 different men get her pregnant, then that means that when they were havin sex it got so good that they hadda go raw and it was so good that they couldn't even pull out. And after some thought, I guess maybe he was right. Its a dumbass way to think but men are dumbasses when it comes to ass so it makes sense.

So I flipped it and asked him what it meant if a woman has 5 kids by the same man. He told me that either meant her pussy was real good because the man got 5 kids out of it or that maybe it was only good to him. What do yall think about these scenarios?

And before you womenz get all up in arms about this, we weren't talkin bout men who are married wit a buncha kids we were talkin bout hoodrat ass women who have a bunch of different babydaddies.

My uncle munchie also told me that a man is only as faithful as his options.

Plz chat amongst urselves...


26 November 2008

On the road again...

By the way u have to sing the title of the post like donkey in shrek. Thx.

Anyway. It is ass crack early. Like 430 early. Right now I am bloggin from the comfort of a heated seat. We just left for ohio.

Moving on...what did I wanna blog about today? Oh yea...family. My family would be funny to most of you. I have one aunt who is a tiptoe away from 50 years old tombout she's a biker bitch fa liiiife! And my other aunt is the drunk one. A 24 year old cousin who won't get his life together, a cousin who just came out the closet (but she was like queen latifah...u already knew) And my whole family with the exception of my grandmothers smoke weed. That's probably what will be goin on later tonight. That seems to be how they welcome us. Spark some green, play a lil music, crack open a bottle of hard liquor and shuffle the cards!

Don't get me wrong...there's nothin wrong with havin a goodtime...but this is EVERYNIGHT. I do not lie about this.

Back to where I was supposed to be goin wit this. My greatgrandma is in her 80's. I have no way of knowin which 80 bc she be switchin it up erytime u ask, lol. I decided that I was going to talk to her about the civil rights movement. You kno, see what she had to say about a black prez. My gg loooooves to tell a story honey. Especially when she has an audience!

The only thing is she's been halfway diagnosed wit alzheimers so her mind gets a lil outta order sometimes. And she's been gettn a lil violent. GG was fiesty (when I say fiesty I mean she used to fight niggaz...literally. My GG has shot someone yall) and they say that with alzheimer patients they tend to revert back to when they were young. Hell, just the other day she jumped in some sweet lil ol ladys face and told her to mind her muthafuckin bizniz. *givin GG the side eye*

Who's gg does that?? Lmao...I got a gangsta gg yall. So hopefully I can get some good stories out of her...

Yall be good...


24 November 2008

Updates!...with pix now!!

OK...so I know I have been slackin. I need to get back in the bloggin rythym (is that how you spell that? i always forget.)

The guy that I had mentioned that I was supposed to go on a date to the cheesecake factory (here)...we never went out. I had told yall that I "remet" him. Wel, to make a loooong story short:

I met him on new years last year on the train. I was comin back from adams morgan (drunk) and i just struck up a convo. He was cool. We started talkin...but i felt like everything was too perfect. He said all the right things and nothing was ever wrong. idk...somethin just seemed off to me so i stopped accepting his phone calls. Fast forward to the beginning of November. I ran into him in Pentagon City and we exchanged numbers. Just to see if things were the same i expressed an interest in him. After he stood me up, I called him a couple of times, he called me acouple of times but i just didnt really feel it and obviously neither did he bc we just stopped callin each other =/.


The triple date. Never happened. Which im not really mad about bc from his face book profile pic ...i thought he was ugly. But i was gonna take one for the team and still go so that my gurl could meet his cousin and New York could meet the other friend. Well I guess the cousin wasnt interested in Sunshine bc he never replied to the note she sent on facebook. And i never even knew who the friend was that New York was supposed to meet...so whatever on that.


I also met another guy on facebook...ill give him a name later, if it even gets that far. He's real cool and cute. So on Friday, he asked me would I come see him. Since I had already made up my mind on thursday that there would be no triple date, we made plans to meet up. I took my shower and get dressed and i called him around 830 to let him kno that I was on my way....phone is off. So i'm pissed. Well not really pissed, but agitated bc I had showered and made my face up and shit and his phone was off. So I decided to call up Island Breeze. He's someone I had to pull out the closet and dust off. But i had been lookin at his facebook page and damnit if he wasnt lookin good! lol...so i call him up, make him get outta bed and we head to a pool hall in Silver Spring. Wouldnt you know that a soon as I walked in the place, Ol-cant-answer-my-phone-lookin-boi sends me a text explainin how he was at the wizards game and his phone went dead and he was textin bc he got my message and didnt want me to think that he wasnt pullin no grimy shit. So i told him that I would call him when i left and that maybe i would stop by.

Island Breeze beat me 3 times! I was sooo mad. I'm very competitive. WE're gonna have another date at the bowlin alley when i come back from ohio for thxgvn. I better whip his ass!! lol.


So i went by facebook boy's (remember that im not naming him yet) His blog name is Mr. 20...Thx Tima lol house and we chilled. He is a cutie pie!!!!! Well...sexy is more like it. But guess what yall!!? He's 20! lol...i told him i felt like an older woman lol. He's very talkative (just like me) and hes mature for his age. I got over there at like 2 and we talked until 730 in the morning! But im not putting nothin into that bc so did me and Johnny Blaze =/

I think thats it as far as updates go. If i missed anything just remind me in my comments...oh! and pictures of each of these guys will be up this evening so check back tonight or tomorrow!

Ciao Bella! Tutti Fruitti!!


21 November 2008


So...I had a lurker come out from hiding!! Everybody wave hi to Amber_Alert....I said wave damnit! ok. Now that thats outta the way...she tagged me! So ima tell yall 7 things about me...which i thinkll be hard bc I already did a 100 things about me post...theres not much yall dont know about me but ill try *shrugs shoulders*

1. link to the person that tagged u and post the rules on ur blog
2. share 7 weird/random facts about urself
3. tag 7 random ppl at the end of ur post and include links to their blogs
4. let each person kno that they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog

1. I think that I have a mild case of OCD. I tend to do things in a routine. Like, when i get dressed in the morning. I take my shower, put my lotion on, put my underwear on, wash my face, put lotion on it, brush my teeth, unwrap my hair, put my clothes on and then my perfume. I cannot do it another way. Thats how it HAS to be done.

2. I dont spend as much time as I should with my brother and sister. I miss them and I want to see them but my akward relationship with my dad causes me to stay away.

3. I always say that I want a boyfriend but when guys start comin at me like they want to get serious, i get nervous. I start wondering if i really want a boyfriend. BC if i get one, what if someone cuter or more outgoing or just more compatible comes along?? I'm not free to date them! But then, I'm single now and I dont really date...I'm so retarded.

4. Even though I'm the single friend, I'm not jealous of my friends who are married or who are pregnant. I get really excited about babies and I like hearing stories from newlyweds...cuz they way i figure is itll be me sooner or later.

5. I fall in like way to quickly. I can meet a guy and have one conversation with him and start seein stars and shit. Im not gullible but I give guys the chance to fuck up before I start gettin all suspicious and shit. Which is weird bc you would think that i have trust issues bc of how my relationship ended a couple of months ago...but i dont.

6. I find things to eat that i think taste really good and then i eat them everyday for like a month. Right now its pineapple fruitcups and blueberry muffins. I ahve a blueberry muffin and a deer park every morning, and a pineapple cup every night when i get home. Last month it was a chicken and chz biscuit and hash brown from mickey d's.

7. I'm always attracted to musicians, artists or troubled guys. I have no idea why. Well its the creativity in musicians and atrists. I'm a picses, so i'm creative naturally and i want someone like that. As far as guys that get in trouble...i think its the Captn save a hoe in me. I think its that if i can get them to turn their life around ive done a good deed or some shit...idk.

Well, their you have it! 7 things about me you didnt know! Fell free to ask me question about any of them...itll give me somethin to write about and if you saw my ask me anything post then you know i dont shy away from any question!!



19 November 2008

Where the hell is everybody?!

OK...is it just me? Or are the majority of your blog friends MIA? I went to Candy's page...she's takin a break, Tima and Nasha just up and quit, Tom_gurl just named herself a part time blogger...it seems like the only person bloggin on the regular is TM!! And her comment section is lackin responses seriously! Whats goin on? I know that i hae been gone...partially due to not having anything to say and to the fact that i got a new position at my company and i cant blog while im here as much and i dont really get on the computer at home. But thats no excuse...i could blog from my sidekick...i just dont. =/

I think im back now tho. Annnnnnnnd....I have a triple date on Friday!! Me and Sunshine and her friend (i needa think of a name for her, cuz i think shell be mentioned here more frequently...for now shell be..oh wait! i got it!! New York...cuz well, shes from NY! duh!) are going out on a blind date with this guy who sent me a note on facebook. He's bringin his cousin (who is CUTE! yall!!) and some other dude. I almost wished the cousin would have tried to talk to me...he is sooooo fine!!

I know that i said that i wouldnt mention any guys on here til atleast after the first date but its hard! you guys are like fam...so i have to give you the juice!!

I promise to post on monday to tell you how it went. I may get motivated and add pix from the date...or at least just my outfit =/

Sidenote...im thinkn bout shuttin down this blog and startn a new one. There are some people who have made it known that they have read my blog and it makes me more concious about the things that i write here...and i dont like to be cendored damnit!!!

Dont worry...once i change it, comment on your blogs so that you know its me again. And GiGi (my friend who reads the blog but doesnt have one) i'll make sure to give youthe new one too! lol...

Happy Hump day!! (i hate when people say that)


14 November 2008

somethin I thought I would never do


As u can see I have taken a slight siesta from bloggin. Wanna kno why?

Because as I reread some old posts I've realized that im becomin the blogger I hate.

You kno the type: the whiny lonely blogger or the my-life-is-so-great blogger.

No one wants to read that shit! People want a happy medium and I can't give yall that. My posts used to have variety...but lately its been the same shit about wantin to date or have a boyfriend or whatever. Im just tired of writin bout the same thing...however since that's all that's goin on in my life....the only option is to not blog =/

I figured I would at least give yall an explanation for my absence...

Oh...and I joined match.com...times is hard.


08 November 2008

so much for keepin a secret =/

I rarely post on saturdays. But today, I had to.

As I sit in my car in line for the car wash, I got to thinkn bout my current dating situation...which is pretty much non existent. Ok ok so I get it. I may not get a boyfriend for a while. That is ultimately what I want...however im willin to crawl before I walk. So I've settled with just dating. But doesn't dating come with rules or an etiquette worksheet or something?! I mean, why do these niggaz be ackin like we don't expect nothin from them? Idk...maybe we shouldn't. Well shit lemme not speak for yall...

Previously I mentioned that I had a secret. Well the secret was that I had met someone...well technically REmet him but ill blog about that another time. I didn't mention it bc everytime and I do mean EVERYTIME I have blogged about a guy that shit do NOT work. Its like yall be jinxin me!

So I kept it to myself. I said I wasn't gonna mention it til at least after the first date. Well, our first date was SUPPOSED to be on wednesday. We were goin to the cheesecake factory. So as I was gettin my hair done, I sent him a text sayin that I kno that we agreed on 530 but that I thought I was gonna be a lil later than that. He sent back a text sayin that "somethin" came up and that he couldn't make it. Now, its not him cancellin that pissed me off. Well, kinda. But not all the way. It was that he waited til I text him to tell me. U know what rime I text him? 430. So he waited til an hour before to cancel. If I hadn't text him when was he plannin to tell me??

Then when I finally talked to him he suggested monday or tuesday for our makeup date. We'll see if he calls. Bc I can't. I deleted his number.

This sux bc I think that I liked him.


05 November 2008

History Was Made, This Day...11.o4.2oo8


We have a black president!!


Can you believe it? Did you think this day would come?! Did you see all the happy white faces in the crowds? White people, happy that a black man was elected president.

This is crazy. Absolutely insane!! I have no words to blog right now. Im just happy.

Black people that I have never ever noticed are smiling at me and wishing me a good morning.

Im proud. Sooooo very proud.

And I was a part of this.

Itsa brand new day yall!!


04 November 2008

Oooooh The Excitement!!

Hey! I know I promised part 2 of the WWU but I just cant. I'm too excited yall!! I voted this morning and I cant wait to find out the results!! I hope we find out tonight, cuz lord knows i wont be able to sleep unless we do!!

Plus this is my hundredth post! It took me a looooong time to get here, man!

Maybe I'll post again today, since I'm the only one in the office.


I have a secret...but I cant tell you just yet!!!

It's a celebration Bitchezzz!!!


03 November 2008

Weekend Wrap-Up: Part 1

G'day mate!

I feel the need to warn all of yous that this will be a loooooooooong weekend wrap up. I did so much (or maybe it just felt like it) that I have to write about it in 2 parts...part 2 will be up tomorrow, i reckon.

Friday: I had to work but I got off at 4 so I could rush to get my nails done and do my hair and all that. With having to wait for 2 other people to get dressed and stuff we didnt end up leavin the crib til like 12. We caught the metro to New York Ave...where we were SURE that there would be taxis waiting for people...ummm negative. THERE WERE NO TAXIS YALL!!! So we started walkin up New York Ave...and let me just tell you that I was a sexy race car driver, so I had on this black jumpshort thingy wit long sleeves and fishnets and black knee high boots, my friend was a sexy school teacher and her friend was a sexy geisha gurl. Niggaz was honkin horns and yellin out they windows and just plain actin like they aint never seen 3 chicks walkin up the street. Anyway, My friend spots an empty taxi on the other side of the street and we run and hop in. This is where the fuckery begins. After I catch my breath, I look around and notice that there are McCain stickers EVERYWHERE in the taxi. The taxi dude even had a cut out of McCains face by his steering wheel!! Taxi dude was Nigerian and he was blasting COUNTRY music!! Homeboy was really havin an identity crisis, smh. It was just ridiculous. I also noticed that he started the fare at 4.50. All he did was make a u turn at the light, drive up the road a lil bit and drop us off at the club. Do you know how much he charged us? 10.00!!! So i figure he doesnt need a tip bc he decided to add it in himself. This African country fool gon say, "Ooh, so ii gees i doont geet a teep today, hunh?" My friend handed him a dollar...she better than me...smh.

So we get out of the car and get in the line for the club. Honey. Some of the outfits were plain retarded. I aint never seen so many big bishes in outfits that too damned small in my life!! A mess! There we also alot of cute gurls in cute outfits too tho so it balanced out i guess. One question tho. Why the hell would you come to the club on stilts? I mean, really. And why the hell would the people at the door let this fool in? I just think that was stupid, but whatever. Oh yeah! Jerome was in the club yall!! You know Jerome....from Martin!

I said Jerome in da house! Whatcha mouf!!!!

He was so funny! He was walkin around wit a big ass house phone for a cell phone and had on some tight assed pants wit socks in his crotch area...a mess! lol. There was also a VERY cute Harlem Globetrotter...I pinched his butt. What? TM dont look at me like that! It just looked so tight and nice...i couldnt help myself! Yall know it was mad chicks dressed up like cops and when they played lil wayne "mrs. officer" they went wild.

Finally, it was time for the club to close. We go outside adnd my friend calls the sober ride taxi people who take you home for free...up to the first $50. So we're waiting on the corner of New York and Kendall and more cat calls and hollerin as niggaz was leavin the club! I must admit, I kida like the attention cuz we was stoppin traffic...literally! One guy even jumped the curb on accident while he was breakin his neck to look at me (and I say me cuz i was the onky one showin skin...it was dark so they couldnt see our faces...so it had the be the thigh action i was givin em...lol.) The light would be green and they would still be starin and askin where we were goin. After a while tho, it got cold...and the taxi STILL wasnt there! I think we were outside waiting for like a good 45 minutes and this guy walks up and he's like who are yall waiting fo? So we say a taxi. He offered to take us to Union Station which is a much easier place to catch a cab and even though we were all a lil skeptical, it was damn near 4 am and i was cold and tired. So we agreed to let him take us (but not before i copied that license plate number and posted it on my facebook status).

We got in the car and he was talkin a whole bunch of shit about how his hands are registered weapons and that his cousin is Taz (the one who owns love...yeah right) and some other shit (idk i wasnt listenting). We get to union station and finally catch a cab. Idk what happened on the ride back home bc I fell asleep. All i know is, is that I didnt come strollin back into the house until around 530 am...im surprised I wrapped my hair and took off my makeup...then i went to sleep honey!

pics comin as soon as my friend sends them to me.


Oh yeah! and part 2 tomorrow...