My Week of Rejection

Ok...so ima try and make this short, but detailed. The romantical night I had planned for reMet...never happened. He cancelled at the last minute. Which, in my heart i KNEW would happen. I guess he's still bitter about me blowin him off but I just feel like that was real extra for him to wait a WHOLE year to do it. But whatever, i got the money back for the room so I'm not really trippin. I'm just disappointed bc I put so much effort into makin it a nice evening.

So instead of doing that, I ended up at LOVE nightclub Friday night partying in VIP. I had soooo mmuch fun!! I think the 2 drinks that i had helped keep my mind off of how i was supposed to be snuggled up next to a fine black man that evening. I looked sooo cute and it was mad dudes tryna get at me. Thats the first time that I have had a good time at the club since I was in Vegas.

So onto to the rest of my rejection weekend. there was another guy that I had met a couple of weeks ago through a co worker of mine. we'll call him Mr. Moneybags...I spent Christmas Eve over his house...OMG yall. His apartment....LAID OUT!! that joint was BAD ok?? I dont know how much money he makes but he lives in Downtown Silver Spring on the 12th Floor of some apartments called The Georgian. When I walked into his apartment the view was OBSCENE! there is like this huge ass window with a view of the city....he had artwork, niiiiiice furniture, a big ass flat panel tv, some kind of expensive ass guitar hangin on the wall, a ginormous, insanely high bed, and his bathroom smelled sooooo good. He cooked some porkchops which were to die for and we watched The Strangers. He had really good conversation and he was really down to earth. Well, I called him on Saturday to see what he was doing and he called me back...to tell me that him and his ex got back together...boooo on that. But he said that he wanted to be friends still which i guess isnt that bad. But still.

I feel like other things happened...but i cant really remember what it is. My homegirl FINALLY got engaged tho!! Im so excited for her!! Not to mention that I have already been notified of my bridesmaid status...the wedding is May 2010 so I have time to get in the gym to make sure i look EXTRA fly!! I cant wait to see all the single men...lmao!!

This holiday was a whirlwind. Im glad its over. New things for me in 09! Yall watch and see what i tell you.

Peace, Love and Souuuuuul!

*** Oh shit!!! i remember what it was i had to tell you...but itll be in a post all by itself tomorrow morning...PROMISE!!!

pink.

Dinner wit the Ex

Well well...whats there to tell?

NOTHIN.

Why? Bc he never called or texted or nothin. And after his actions and a good conversation with iCandy about it, Im not worried about a friendship with him. It's obvious that he has not changed. I dealt with this type of behavior in the relationship...but the beauty of being single is that i dont have to put up wit that shit anymore..ya dig?

-I just got a text from him saying that something came up...but you knew that something came up last night. you should have said that then. Sorry Charlie...but youre a day late and a dollar short.-
Now if he wants to be friends, great. But that means that he is going to have to put in extra work and i cant say whether i will meet him halfway; it all just depends on which way the wind blows =)

I am very happy with myself. I didnt get worked up or anything. He's not worth it. When i didnt hear from him by 5, I went and got a niiiiice loooong luxuriooooous pedicure. And then I got a phone call from a guy on match.com. We had some cool conversation. I checked out his pick...he aiiiight. The only thing is that he lives in Dumfries,VA. Ummm i know i wanna be in love and all, but ion know if love gon take me that far, right? lmao...plus,for real for real...what's love got to do with it? lol.

After I chatted with him for awhile, I decided to give this guy a call. DOnt ask me why...I just felt like I should. The last time we talked was when he stood me up and I just wanted to know what really happened.

He said that when we "re-met" that he was already involved with someone and he wanted to talk to me but he knew it wasnt fair. So he stopped callin (which is what i did to him earlier in the year). He said that they broke up a couple weeks ago but that he knew he couldnt just call me up and say, "hey! im back!" so he just didnt call.

Anyway, we are both single now. So we'll see what happens. He wants to see me tonight. I have a date with Island Breeze on Thursday and Mr. 20 wants me to come over on Friday. Then I have my party Saturday, so I'll be pretty occupied. Sunday Ima just relax...

I'll catch up wit yall!

Oh yeah! Amber...Red Robin is the bomb dot com...you need to go lol

pink.

Why me?! Why not him?

Yeah...i know...its late and I'm just now blogging. I had work to do. Anyway, I wouldnt say that I'm in a foul mood, i guess im just confused but this will be a Tell Em Why You Mad THursdays of sorts. You see, in June of this year, i found out that my boyfriend of 7 years had another girlfriend. No, he wasnt man enough to tell me...i found out...by checkin his email. He had been sending her emails talking about how much he loved her and all this other crap. After 7 years of me thinkin it was so hard to let him go, it was the easiest thing to do that Friday night for me. I didnt cry, i just called him up, told him I knew, and hung up the phone. I called my homegirl and we went to Fridays that night. It just seemed so easy to walk away and I have no idea why. After talking to this person everyday for 7 years you'd think there would be some kind of drama involved. But there wasnt. This was the man that i KNEW that I would marry. I had picked out our kids names and everything. If you would have told me that he would have another girlfriend I would have laughed bc it wasnt possible and he would never do that. Boy was I wrong. See, I never put it past him to cheat on me. And i'm pretty sure that he did during the course of our relationship. But if you knew him you would just never imagine him having another girlfriend. i dont know if you understand what im saying but its just that way. I had always been there for him whenever he needed me. I was the one that drove in the snow at 2 am to get him from the club bc he was too drunk to drive...i was the one who went to pick him up from the police station every time he was arrested. And just recently before we broke up i was the one that paid his 350 dollar phone bill...the bill that he had been talkin to his other lil girlfriend on. If thats supposed to be his girl then why didnt she pay it?!

I guess what I'm getting at is that I dont understand why this motherfucker gets to be happy in his new relationship and im the one thats lonely. Why the fuck am i getting the short end of the stick when he cheated on me?! I'm doin shit for him when I'm goin through all this shit with that whole cancer thing and his bitch ass was spending time with her?! Why am i not in a happy, sappy , cute, cuddly, holdin hands in public kind of relationship? Why cant he be lonely? how come i couldnt have got the hint long before he had a chance to break my damn heart? Believe me, if i did, I would have snatched his out his chest and stomped that bitch wit my favorite steve madden pumps. and then smushed it in the ground like I was puttin out a cigarette. Do i sound angry? good...fuck it i am pissed.

And dont give me that shit about how he'll get his bc i dont wanna hear it. I want him to feel it now. I want some shit so fucked up to happen in his relationship that he thinks back to how good he had it. And when it does, i do NOT want to him to come whinin to me bc he chose where he wanted to be. Let that girl (i wanted to type bitch, just so you know) deal with it bc im finally free from a relationship that i shouldve let go of a long time ago.

I know i prolly sound bitter...but this is the result of holding all of this inside. I try not to talk about it to my friends bc they only rehash feelings that i wish would just go away. I just want to be happy with someone yall. Its hard to explain the way that I am bc you dont know me. I am happy with myself but i was lonely before we broke up. I was always lonely with him. I just want someone that appreciates me...and i can appreciate them.

maybe ill elaborate another time. maybe not.

pink.